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The Virtual Couch

Take Control of Your Parenting, More on the Nurtured Heart Approach to Parenting

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5643 Ratings

🗓️ 18 November 2019

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Learn tangible, positive ways to help you take control of your parenting today! In this solo episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, goes into detail, with personal examples, of how to actually implement the Nurtured Heart Parenting approach with your small, or teenage children. Tony dives into the three stands of the Nurtured Heart Approach: Stand 1, refuse to be drawn into energizing or rewarding negativity, hide your buttons! Make the responses to tantrums, episodes and broken rules boring, predictably boring! Stand 2, absolutely energize and nurture success, making the building of "inner wealth" the goal. Do it, relentlessly do it! I WILL energize the positive using the Nurtured Heart Approaches four techniques to find, recognize and comment upon successes, small, large and everything in between EVEN if you believe there's nothing there to praise! And Stand 3, clearly, but casually, enforce limits. Create a system where the rules are understood, and when they are broken, here's what happens. I WILL provide a true consequence when a rule is broken, I WILL be absolutely clear with my expectations, I will NOT simply dangle a carrot but I will provide a reminder, with limits! From the website Children's Success Foundation https://childrenssuccessfoundation.com/ (https://childrenssuccessfoundation.com/) the Nurtured Heart Approach is described as follows: "The Nurtured Heart Approach® is a relationship-focused methodology founded strategically in The 3 Stands™ for helping children (and adults) build their Inner Wealth™ and use their intensity in successful ways. It has become a powerful way of awakening the inherent greatness in all children while facilitating parenting and classroom success. The essence of the Approach is a set of core methodologies originally developed for working with the most difficult children. It has a proven impact on every child, including those who are challenged behaviorally, socially and academically. The Nurtured Heart Approach has been shown to create transformative changes in children diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder and other behavioral, emotional and anxiety related symptoms – almost always without the need for long-term mental health treatment. Even children experiencing social cognitive challenges, like Autism Spectrum Disorder and Asperger Syndrome greatly benefit from the Approach, reducing the need for traditional mental health and medical interventions." The book Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach, by Howard Glasser, may be found here https://amzn.to/2r8mgij (https://amzn.to/2r8mgij) Tony mentions a couple of podcasts in this episode, first is when he spoke with Pastor Chris Jung from Summit Christian Church in Lincoln, CA (http://mysummit.church (http://mysummit.church/)) about the Nurtured Heart Approach, you can find that episode here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/02/26/virtual-couch-podcast-episode-40-parenting-help-4-items-w-pastor-chris-jung-of-summit-church/ (https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/02/26/virtual-couch-podcast-episode-40-parenting-help-4-items-w-pastor-chris-jung-of-summit-church/) Tony also discussed the Nurtured Heart Approach on Rachel Nielson's 3 in 30 Takeaways for Mom's Podcast (http://3in30podcast.com (http://3in30podcast.com/)) and that episode can be located here https://3in30podcast.com/captivate_podcast/praise/ (https://3in30podcast.com/captivate_podcast/praise/) Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd (https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd)) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You've been asking for it. So here it comes. Today, we're talking parenting, positive, strength-based. What do I do next? My kids of all age as heck, even my adult kids are driving me nuts, kind of parenting. If you've heard previous episodes, you've definitely heard me talk about it. But today, I am going to try and dig deep into the nurtured heart approach to parenting and how it will help you feel more sanity

0:20.8

in your parenting in your life. I'll show you why having a solid parenting platform is so

0:25.1

important to work from and how to implement this approach into your parenting today, like

0:29.1

in an hour or so when you're done listening to this episode. So let's get to this episode

0:33.3

of the virtual couch.

0:43.7

Music of the virtual couch. Hey, so today's episode deals with finding the right fit in therapy.

0:48.1

And my guest, Rachel Nielsen, who is host of the popular podcast 3 and 30 takeaways

0:51.8

for moms, is going to talk about some of the challenges that she had in finding the right therapist. Now, as a therapist myself, I of course

0:58.4

recommend that everybody give therapy a try. I mean, truly, we're all hanging on to some things

1:02.3

that would maybe be helpful to process or there are things in our life that we maybe thought

1:06.7

we would achieve by now or things that we desperately want to achieve so that we won't

1:10.7

live a life full of regrets. Or there are people listening right now who might be noticed we would achieve by now or things that we desperately want to achieve so that we won't live

1:10.8

a life full of regrets. Or there are people listening right now who might be noticing that their

1:15.4

anxiety or their depression is getting a tiny bit more. If it's like me, you can go listen to a couple

1:19.8

episodes I did on this. I started recognizing that I had ADHD and I needed to deal with it. But

1:26.0

let's just say that some of these things get a tiny bit amplified, maybe the longer

1:29.0

they're left untreated.

1:30.6

Well, I think you owe it to yourself or to those around you, your spouse, your kids, and

1:34.6

I mean, honestly, if I'm being honest, which I just said twice, you owe it to yourself,

1:40.1

to you, at the very least give therapy a try.

1:42.9

So if you're nervous about finding the right fit with a therapist,

1:45.3

or if you're worried about I'm bumping into somebody in the waiting room,

...

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