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Music Lake Martin Shimmers beneath a heavy midday sun, and I am sitting on a dock.

There are distant sounds of splashing, kids laughing. All the children are swimming. All their respective adults are sitting ashore, dry, as adults often are.

There is nothing like summer on the lake. A boater comes speeding by, towing several middle-aged

men on a water tube. The tube men are all yelling gaily, shouting two of the seven major American swear words. The

whole lake can hear these men, but nobody is offended by their language. We instead move in for a

better look, namely because these men are well into their upper 60s, and yet here they are,

traveling upwards of 187 miles per hour behind the

nautical thrust of approximately 350 horsepower.

Soon everyone is watching these men.

Then the boat driver, who looks like a 12-year-old girl, throws the wheel and makes a donut

in the water.

The tube is whipped like a slingshot. The group of

grandfathers lose their collective grips and become instantly airborne, sailing into the great

expanse of space and time, screaming barnyard expletives as they make their wild e-coyote-like

...