In many ways, I became numb to the gospel and become numb to the Bible because I just read it so many times and

it wasn't until I don't know, maybe four years ago that I read, I was going through Luke some of my favorite

gospels and you come to, you know, chapter 9 or Jesus is talking to those disciples and he's telling them, you know, if you want to

follow me in verse 23, you need to take up your cross, deny yourself and follow me. And I read that and I'm like, hmm, it's just like something

to strike a chord in me. I think it was a spirit. I know it was a spirit and I dug deeper and when you look at what that means to take up your

cross, it means to count the cost. It means to know that there's going to be suffering, but know that God is worth it and that we have a better

eternal destination. And then this next part, follow me as a last part, but this middle part Jordan is where everything changed for me. And that's the idea of

denying yourself or in some version says die to yourself. And when you look at the original language, when you look at what that means,

Jesus was really saying you need to let go of personal control of your life and you need to let me in and die to yourself.

You're listening to she with Jordan Lee Dooley, a personal development podcast for the everyday woman. Come invited, leave ignited. Here's your host, Jordan Lee Dooley.

Okay, Jared. Welcome to sheep. Hey, Jordan, thanks for having me. I've been looking forward to this. Yes. So happy to have you. I'm really looking forward to this conversation. I think your story is so powerful. And I'm just looking forward to digging into it. But for those who may not be familiar with you, can you share just a little bit of your background, your health journey? And really what led you to write your books to render your story?

Absolutely. Yes. So my name is Tara sin as I go by on a social media and my husband and I and our 14 month old son. We live in Oregon and you to do ministry here. I have podcasts, culture talks with Tara. And I wrote, like,

during the first books around your story, all this title is ditch the myth of control and discover freedom and trusting God. And that came out March, 2023. So just a few months ago, and we're talking today.

And yeah, this book, Jordan, you know this. I've read your books. I've, you know, followed you for a while. You know that any good story, any good message is not born out of something that happened yesterday, or even like a few weeks ago, or sometimes even a year ago, it's

a message that has been a part of your life for forever, it seems. And so that's what surrender your story was. It was this realization that I came to after having a to be super honest, a relatively easy childhood of

loving the Lord of the young age, smooth sailing until I was hit with a chronic illness diagnosis when I was 14. And that set me into a spiral of life, just full of difficulty, full of setback, full of disappointment.

And honestly, Jordan, instead of that, leading me to trust God in those moments, it really actually led me to try to control and try to manipulate and get what I wanted instead of

surrendering to God and also through career changes, thinking I wanted to be in the medical field and now getting to do what I do. It's, it's just a life I never thought I wanted, but I'm so thankful that God brought it my way.

It's just, yes, this book was, is my story also, but it's mainly a biblical guide for helping people because we all have desires and dreams that, you know, are left unattended or they never happen or we all struggle with wanting to control what we want.

But this message is really a call for us to be like, you know, when we actually surrender, it seems opposite, but that's actually where we find the most freedom and purpose.

It's so true. I think so many people can relate to that, whether they've struggled with chronic illness or something else that just throws them and throws them what feels like off course, you know, maybe on course for what that has for them, but when it comes to like our expectations, our plans, feeling like, wait, how did I, why am I here? You know, like what what's going on? And just that natural reaction of like trying to control or get back to the life we thought we were going to have or the thing we wanted and not being able to get there. It can be, it can be so hard. I mean, that really ultimately.

Eventually leads to a surrender when you're like, OK, I have exhausted all my resources. I'm coming to the end of myself, but it often takes us a while to get there. I know in my own experience, like, it took me a few years to feel like I finally got to this place was like, OK, this may just be what's my what my life is, you know, like, and it doesn't mean like a giving up. And I think I want to talk a little bit about that to I would just be curious, like, the difference between in your opinion, this is kind of like something I didn't really prep you for, but I would love to hear just your thoughts on like, what is surrendering, you know, especially as we talk about this, this topic. How is that

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