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The Next Big Idea

SUPERCOMMUNICATORS: How to Connect With Anyone

The Next Big Idea

Next Big Idea Club

Self-improvement, Arts, Books, Society & Culture, Education

4.51.3K Ratings

🗓️ 29 February 2024

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

According to Merriam-Webster, the word “conversation” has 36 synonyms, ranging from the alliterative (”confabulation”) to the arcane (”persiflage”). Why the linguistic profusion? Because conversing is a fundamental part — maybe the fundamental part — of being human. We chat with our families, friends, strangers, and co-workers, and we communicate in phone calls, text messages, emails, and, occasionally, postcards. When these tête-à-têtes go well, it is oddly thrilling; we become better versions of ourselves — warmer and wiser, funnier, and consistently insightful. Best of all, a good dialogue is a direct route to connection. “The bond of all companionship,” wrote Oscar Wilde, “whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” But when a conversation goes poorly, when it stays on the surface (”what do you do for a living?”) or devolves into a sputtering mess of misunderstanding (”you’re overreacting!”), we don’t feel the invigorating pulse of connection. What we feel, instead, is the emotional equivalent of a busy signal. So, this hour, we’re asking: how can we have better conversations? And to help answer that question, we’re joined by Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and the bestselling author of “The Power of Habit” and now “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.” Charles, as you’ll hear, is something of supercommunicator himself, a lithe storyteller who’s as well-versed in evolutionary biology as he is in the latest psychology, and after studying the art and science of communication for the last few years, he’s concluded that anyone can become a great conversationalist. You just have to master a few simple skills. Tune in to find out what they are. Host: Rufus Griscom Guest: Charles Duhigg Book: “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection” *THE NEXT BIG IDEA CLUB* We all know that reading is the best investment we can make in ourselves, but figuring out what to read … well, that’s another matter. Which is why we started the Next Big Idea Club. We get the best new books — as chosen by our curators (Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink) — into the hands of curious people. Like you! Join us today at nextbigideaclub.com

Transcript

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0:00.0

LinkedIn presents.

0:05.0

I'm Rufus Griskum and this is the next big idea.

0:10.0

Today, unlocking the secret language of communication. There's a video I saw on YouTube recently. It's a clip a few years old from James

0:39.0

Corden's late night show. His guest is Oprah and he's nervous to talk with her for reasons you

0:46.7

might not expect. I don't know my worry when I woke up this morning is I don't know if

0:50.6

I can make it through this interview without crying.

0:54.0

Because you seem to have an unbelievable gear, even now I can feel myself chilling up.

1:00.0

When did you first realize you had this power just to make people cry?

1:06.2

Oprah says it started in the 70s in Baltimore.

1:09.7

She'd been fired from her job anchoring the nightly news and given one co-hosting a local talk show.

1:15.6

And that's where she discovered she had an uncanny ability to make people open up.

1:21.1

When she asked them questions, they came to life, revealing surprising, deeply personal things about themselves.

1:27.0

When she was vulnerable with her guests, they were vulnerable with her.

1:31.0

Okay, go on, give me your best.

1:32.7

Okay, I'll unleash the power.

1:34.4

Well, you need, you need some time, you know,

1:36.5

it's about having some time.

1:37.6

But let me just say for you, Charlotte.

1:41.8

Charlotte, Carrie Max.

1:45.0

Those are the names of James's children.

1:47.5

Once on my show, a father said,

1:49.5

every father has a dream for his children. Oh, shut up.

...

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