Sunday Sermon with Pastor Petey: Thou Shalt Enjoy Thanksgiving With Your Family!

Puttin' On Airs

Podcast Heat

Comedy

5 • 880 Ratings

🗓️ 20 November 2023

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sunday Sermon with Pastor Petey Perkins: A Thanksgiving Message! Hey everybody, it's ya boy, Corey Ryan Forrester! What you are about to hear is an episode of a project I’ve been working on for a few months now over at BonusCorey.com It’s called Sunday Sermons With Pastor Petey Perkins Pastor Petey Perkins is the preacher at Pastor Petey’s place for parishioners, both pompous and proletariat alike! A church that exists in the fictional universe I’ve created, called Chickaluki Think “Lake Wobegon” and “Prarie Home Companion” by Garrison Keillor, but with a southern twist! On my Substack at BonusCorey.com, I’m working really hard to expand everything in Chickaluki City Limits, and we are having a ton of fun. Earlier this year, I wrote and recorded my first full-length Audio Drama set in Chickaluki. It’s called Colonel Cornbread and The Case of The Confederate Ruby! You can find that and so much more by subscribing to my Substack, which can be found at BonusCorey.com You can subscribe for free, but a measly 5 bucks a month gets you access to so much more. Plus, you get everything early and ad-free! And.. ya know… you’re supporting the arts for only a cup of coffee a month! Before I go, I should tell you that if you subscribe for the whole year, you get two months FREE! Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving y'all…I hope it’s a good one… and speaking of Thanksgiving… that’s what Pastor Petey’s sermon is all about… let’s start the show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Friends and neighbors, boys and girls, and those among us not tethered to a gender one way or another,
0:08.4	welcome once again to Pastor Petey's place for parishioners, both pompous and proletariat alike.
0:16.4	We've got a great sermon for you today, but before that, Pastor Petey is proud to let you know about the first sponsor here on the program.
0:25.1	Now, y'all know we, of course, like to keep our money local to the fine city of Chickalooke.
0:30.7	And in doing so, we've offered our pulpit, Father God, as a platform for small businesses here in town to amplify their products.
0:40.0	Woo! Father God.
0:41.5	Today's sermon is brought to you by Sister Sheila's Soul Saving Center for Small Children,
0:47.2	or more commonly referred to as just Sister Sheila's Daycare.
0:52.5	At Sister Sheila's Daycare, we know that life is tough.
0:56.2	You want to have a house full of little rascals,
0:58.5	but them suckers cost more money than a Brazilian butt lift for a Kardashian.
1:03.4	Trusting someone to care for your rug rats while you bust your hump down at Delmar
1:07.9	Bokes chicken feed store is not a decision you take lightly, and here at
1:12.4	Sister Sheila's daycare, we understand that. We not only offer the best in children's daycare,
1:19.0	but the best in children's discipline. All our teachers are the wives or daughters of former
1:25.6	military drill sergeants, so your child will have no problem
1:29.4	paying attention! The only timeout your child will take is time out from Sister Sheila
1:36.3	whooping his rear end for cutting a fart during the morning prayer, Father God. And you'll be happy
1:42.5	to know that this year we have updated our whooping
1:45.4	paddles. The new ASWIP 3,000 comes with an array of holes drilled in it in strategic
1:51.6	locations to make it less wind resistant and thus more effective at preventing repeat offenders.
1:59.6	Our services are offered on a sliding scale for those who have a
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