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The Jason Manford Show

Sub(s)tituted

The Jason Manford Show

Absolute Radio

Comedy

4.8947 Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2018

⏱️ 64 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jason is joined by Geoff Norcott this week. And there's a lot of hard-hitting issues we need to cover... like; 1 - You never get used to early mornings 2 - Avoiding late night fast-food 3 - Sam's Garden Centre Wonderland 4 - Tea, Toast and Toothbrush Etiquette 5 - Time Travellers 6 - Jason's not getting a nap later 7 - Getting words wrong your whole life 8 - Quality Stationality. Jason Manford, one of the UK's most loved comedians, is on Absolute Radio every Sunday from 8am. If that sounds a bit early on a Sunday for you, then catch the best bits of Jason's show on this handy podcast.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

As Claire into the kitchen, the mere sight of Gary standing there engulfed her in a wave of excitement.

0:07.0

Their eyes looked immediately and she knew that in a matter of minutes she'd be in for the steamiest night ever.

0:14.0

Carrie leaned in close and Claire could feel his breath caress her skin

0:18.0

as he softly whispered.

0:20.0

What would you prefer love?

0:22.0

Bird's ice, steam fresh vegetables, rice, or one of their new pasta meals?

0:26.0

The Bird's Ice Steam Fresh Range.

0:28.0

Goodness, that's steamy.

0:32.0

This is a a jason manford.

0:35.0

This is absolute radio.

0:40.0

Where real music matters.

0:41.0

Good morning, it's a jason Manford's show on absolute radio.

0:44.4

Hope you well this Sunday morning. Jeff Norkot is my guest this morning.

0:48.7

Morning Jeff. Hey mate. How's it going?

0:50.8

Yeah, it's all right. We're just saying our faces are just waking up.

0:53.4

Oh, mate. We're at that age where it takes a good hour and a quarter.

0:55.8

I know they're like, oh, can we take a photo for social media? I'm like, now,

0:59.6

We were both trying to use those female selfie techniques, weren't we angling the face

1:03.4

yeah getting the getting it right tongue into the roof of the mouth something like that

1:07.0

sucking in the cheeks yeah it's gonna look weird in it sometimes I feel like I can't get the

1:11.8

angle high enough for my chins I feel like I can't get the angle high enough for my chins. I'm like

1:14.7

Staying on a ladder mate. Yeah, can you use Google Earth? That's the only way it's gonna do. I realize that my face is getting

...

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