We should be careful using that word need.

I think need puts people on the defense or should.

You know, I've learned to use the open question a lot.

Like, are you open to this?

Yeah.

And then the follow up after that is the, well, here are some suggestions.

But before it was here, the

suggestions, here's what you need to do. I said should a lot. And should and me too. And so

asking questions has been a healthier approach for our marriage. And I, and I pray that that

approach helps other marriages as well, because it allows also room for conviction, a conversation, and then just

an opportunity to love by each other. And if at the end of that conversation, it doesn't

end, all we can continue to is pray for each other.

Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most.

I'm Ann Wilson.

And I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLife Today.com.

This is Family Life Today.

Thank you. family life today. Well, yesterday we started a conversation with Jennifer and Alan Parr that we're

going to continue today about softness, about a wife being soft, which doesn't mean she

doesn't have a voice, but it does mean that there's...

She approaches him in a way that's soft.

It's not accusatory.

It's not being defensive or angry.

...