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Were there red flags, the subtle or not subtle warnings I should have seen before we

married?

The ones people ask me about now, wanting something, anything, to prove that our fate could

have been predicted, that the same thing couldn't happen to

them, maybe the shift in personality at Kenyon, maybe the arrests and the breaking of girls' hearts,

maybe his tendency to direct and mind to follow, maybe the untold tale of his father.

But these felt like stories of a rebellious boy becoming a

responsible man, the normal mysteries of a three-dimensional human being. There is nothing I look

back on now and say, how could I have missed that? Other couples I knew then and know now had many more flags, redder flags, and they stayed

married. And doesn't it all look different? Wouldn't your own story look different if you knew how

it was going to end? That's Bell Burden, attorney and author of the recent book, Strangers, A Memoir of a Marriage.

...