Welcome to the first shower 2020!

The Washington DC, baby! The District of Columbia, not to be confused with the

country Columbia, little known fact, to common misconception. A lot of

missing mail. Yes, although it's probably the same amount of cocaine here.

How about this? Yes, probably. It could easily go to either city. A similar

around. No, DC's, I haven't been to DC in 30 years basically and it's great,

it's got a little something for everybody, right? It's a great city to take an

eighth grade field trip or if you're just one of us in the place where you might

get shot. You can't go wrong! A little something for everybody!

Oh, DC! We were going out to dinner last night in choice, like we could walk,

it's a seven minute walk or we'll take a three-minute lift and not get shot.

Let's do the latter. We took the lift. Are people fired up about this show tonight?

Don't get too excited, we should make it up, it might be shitty, we have no idea.

It's all made up. And I'm usually unhappy no matter what, so. That's right, that's right.

You know, since we're in the nation's capital, I took the liberty of writing

some political humor. Stop filming, here's the thing, you gotta be careful what you say

these days, because you might have fed somebody. So I wrote all these jokes to make sure

that I wouldn't offend the left, the right, the middle, Gen Z, millennials or the Matthew

Kabinacazas of the world. You and your kind of ruined comedy, Matthew.

But here we go, Italians? Yes. You swore to eat people and you have

coupling ruining muscles. Here we go, this is some bipartisan political humor written

to be impossible to offend people, just to warn things out. Here we go, ready? Here we

...