Stop ‘Working’ on Your Relationship to Start Making it Fun Again | E437

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Relationships

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 13 January 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you ever feel like “working” on your relationship just drains the joy out of it? You’re not alone— that “work on it” narrative is so common and in my experience as a marriage counselor…. some of the worst advice ever. Of course you want a better relationship, but there are much more effective ways of making that happen: Especially when you start prioritizing the parts that you enjoy. In this podcast, I’ll show you why the idea that “relationships are hard work” might actually be sabotaging your connection and what to do instead. Learn how to bring more fun, positivity, and love into your relationship with simple, actionable steps. We’ll explore everything from changing your mindset to building better communication and adding joy to your everyday life. Timestamps: 00:00 – The Worst Relationship Advice Ever 00:38 – Why Relationships Should Be Fun 01:34 – Shifting Your Mindset from Work to Joy 02:40 – Bringing Fun Back into Your Relationship 03:30 – How Personal Growth Improves Love 04:53 – Mastering Positive Communication 06:12 – Focus on What’s Good (And Watch it Grow!) 07:51 – Making Your Relationship Pleasurable Again 09:31 – Leading with Love 12:35 – Turning Mundane Tasks into Meaningful Moments If you’ve been feeling like your relationship is more work than it should be, I’ve got something for you. My free 2-part video training, Communication That Connects, will help you shift out of that "hard work" mindset and give you tools to build a relationship that feels fun, loving, and easy again. Check it out here: https://www.growingself.com/communication. 💕 💬 Got questions? Join me for this week’s livestream on Thursday at 12 PM MT on YouTube. Submit your questions anonymously ahead of time here: https://www.growingself.com/dear-lisa Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who could use this advice, share this video with them! Let’s create stronger, happier relationships together. 💕

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Have you ever been told that, well, relationships take work?
0:12.0	I am here to tell you that that is about the worst relationship advice I have ever heard,
0:17.3	and I say this as a professional marriage counselor.
0:24.6	It's a trade-off. How much fun are you having?
0:32.6	How much love do you want to have?
0:36.6	I think that no relationships thrive when people treat them like a chore, honestly.
0:44.5	I think this is a one-way ticket to misery.
0:47.3	And today I'm going to show you why and instead how to build a joyful, connected relationship that is based on fun, positivity, even pleasure without the drudgery.
1:01.8	So let's dive right in.
1:04.8	To begin with, the reason why this concept of relationships or work takes such a toll on them, paradoxically, is
1:14.0	like just to think about this, what do you want your partner to feel about their time with
1:19.8	you?
1:20.3	For your partner to say, it is with great effort that I'm being kind to you right now.
1:26.3	Or, well, I don't really want to hang out with you,
1:30.3	but I know that I have to because relationships take work. So yuck, right? Relationships should be
1:39.0	fun, not a grind. And the truth is one of the quickest ways to improve your connection is not through
1:48.0	hard work, not like white knuckling it, forcing yourself to be nice to your partner. It's actually
1:54.4	by learning how to reconnect through positivity and even playfulness. So here's the first big shift I'd like you to consider.
2:05.7	Just stop using this language around relationships or work and stop thinking about your
2:13.2	relationship as something that you need to work on. Instead, replace this with a new idea, which is,
2:20.7	what do I want my relationship to feel like? I mean, think about it. You know, most people,
2:27.3	probably you too, want love, connection, happiness, fun, pleasure, enjoyment in their relationships. And so having a better
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.