Arguably, one of the greatest pitfalls that men fall into in modern dating is twofold.

One, telling women how to behave, trying to shape them or mold them or, you know, prevent them from falling into some train wreck in their life or in their career or with their family trying to fix them. And secondly is

telling them that they're intimidating. And for a lot of women, this has become a sort of like badge

of honor. You know, men find me intimidating. And they say, you know, I'm intimidating to men.

And it has become this thing that they take on. And I get a lot of questions. When I do Q&A is on

Instagram, I get a lot of questions from women around this topic asking, you know, why do men

tell me that I'm intimidating? What does it mean? Is it okay? And, you know, same thing with men

saying, you know, I'm dating this woman or I've started seeing this woman and she's intimidating to me. What does this mean? And there's a number of reasons for this,

but I just want to start off by saying, stop trying to control or alter the behavior of the woman

that you're with. This is one of the biggest traps that I see a lot of

men falling into, especially guys that have gone through like the pickup community, you know,

are trying to be more assertive, more direct, more, more alpha, you know, maybe they've watched

some red pill videos or black pill videos or whatever colored pill

videos online.

And they've adopted this narrative that in order to be more of a man in the relationship,

in order to be more masculine, you need to control the woman that you're with.

What this ends up doing is that the man in the relationship

ends up taking on responsibility for the woman that he's with. And he starts to try and

control her behavior, what she does, what she says, how she behaves. And he ultimately takes

responsibility for who she is and he he personalizes

when she fails when she's upset when she's happy so if she's happy he's doing a good job

if she's upset and angry or disappointed he's failing in some capacity and that might not be

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