Stop Running From Uncomfortable Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions...How to Face the “Fear Trap”
The Virtual Couch
Tony Overbay LMFT
4.9 • 668 Ratings
🗓️ 19 May 2020
⏱️ 37 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
No one likes to feel bad...or sad, or afraid or anxious or uncertain, or so many other uncomfortable feelings. And what do you do when you start thinking unproductive thoughts? Sure, you can tell yourself to “just stop thinking about them!” But what happens when your mind seems to, well, have a mind of its own? In today’s episode, Tony tackles a chapter in Russ Harris’ book The Confidence Gap https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1 called “The Fear Trap,” and answers the question “what is fear?” And what we can do when strong emotions cause us to turn to unhealthy substances (drugs, alcohol, compulsive sexual behaviors, gambling) go into autopilot mode (at the mercy of our emotions), avoidance mode (do whatever we can to avoid unpleasant feelings), distraction, thinking strategies (just don’t worry about it, think happy thoughts!) or opting out of situations entirely?
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Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
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This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
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Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
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Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
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You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch, we're going deep into your mind. We're talking about your thoughts and even more fear. So what are we actually afraid of and what do we do when we're afraid of a thought or a feeling or an emotion? Do we avoid it? Do we kind of just opt out of life? Do we distract? Sure we do. That's kind of what we're built to do. It's human nature. But today we're going to talk about how to get out of that fear trap. |
| 0:23.4 | That and plenty more coming up on. distract. Sure we do. That's kind of what we're built to do. It's human nature. But today we're |
| 0:21.5 | going to talk about how to get out of that fear trap. That and plenty more coming up on today's |
| 0:25.3 | episode of the virtual couch. |
| 0:35.6 | Hey, everybody. This is a very quick advertisement, and I know I'm a podcast listener. You can hit the |
| 0:41.1 | little fast forward button probably on your podcast player, 15 seconds, 30 seconds. But bear with me. |
| 0:46.4 | I'll try to make this quick. As a therapist myself, I obviously recommend that everybody give |
| 0:50.6 | therapy a try because when people ask me, do I I need therapy I don't even have to talk to you |
| 0:55.3 | the answer is yes I need therapy everyone could use a sounding board everybody could use uh an objective |
| 1:02.1 | third party everybody could kind of dig deep a little bit and find out what are things that they've been |
| 1:06.8 | holding back on what are the things that they feel like they should be able to get over or |
| 1:11.2 | shouldn't be worrying about shouldn't nobody wants to be should on but we're all hanging on to things |
| 1:16.6 | that would be helpful to process and there's even things that we thought we'd achieve by now or things |
| 1:21.7 | that we really want to achieve so that we won't have these regrets in life and so if there are people |
| 1:27.1 | listening right now that might be noticing that their anxiety or their depression might even getting a tiny bit worse, especially with what's going on in the world right now, let's get to it. Let's not leave that untreated. You owe it to yourself, to those around you, your spouse, your kids. You, I mean, you owe it to you at the very least to give therapy a try. |
| 1:45.6 | So if you're nervous about finding the right fit, if you're worried about bumping into somebody |
| 1:49.0 | in the therapy waiting room, if you have any worries about therapy, might I recommend |
| 1:53.1 | that you go immediately to betterhelp.com slash virtual couch. Again, that's betterhelp.com |
| 1:58.7 | forward slash virtual couch, all one word. And just take a look at the world of online therapy. |
| 2:03.9 | Go check out what, over half a million. |
| 2:06.4 | Approaching a million people have already done before you and sign up now by going to betterhelp.com slash virtual couch and get the help that you need, the help that you maybe didn't even know that you need. |
| 2:15.0 | There's a broad range of expertise in Better Helps counselor network, which might not be available in many areas. And especially right now, with |
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