Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast where here you get modern, non-boring relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same team no matter the challenge that you face.

I am one of your host, Jocelyn Freeman.

And I'm Aaron Freeman.

And what is it that we all want?

As individuals, we want to live a life where we have a pleasant, internal, emotional state.

And that could be joyous, that could be happy, fulfilled, on purpose.

And it's similar with our marriage.

We want a pleasant internal state, which is

understanding, loving, peaceful, harmonious. So here's what happens in a marriage. Something

disrupts that peace. And that can be a tone of voice, that can be an action, that can be an external stressor,

and all of a sudden, you turn outwards and you try to control the things outside of you

to change this internal state back to pleasant. But here's the issue with the marriage, that you then try to

control and change and fix and blame your partner, their actions, their tone of voice,

all for you not having the experience that you want to have.

This is being emotionally reactive and this has a major cost to your marriage.

So today we are talking about how your responsibility is your ability to respond. And taking responsibility and taking ownership for your reactions is the

pathway to emotional freedom, personal growth, and becoming a safer, more grounded partner.

Now, it may seem obvious why this is important, but let's talk about the importance of this,

how it impacts a relationship. Because you've probably heard us say, if you've been a long-time

listener, that you need to be responsible for your reactive behaviors. It contributes to so

many cycles and patterns that affect your connection and create unnecessary conflict. The behaviors that you do not take responsibility

for and to Aaron's point you blame your partner for, they keep you stuck in loops. That can be

...