Hey, welcome back to another episode of high performance. Today's episode is for you. If you've ever said,

what if people don't like it? What if I sound stupid? What if I fail? And everybody laughs. Welcome to the

conversation that can stop you caring what everybody else thinks. And just to be really clear

here, Damien, we're not telling people not to care about anything, but we are saying that there

is a school of thought that caring too much about the views and the opinions of other people

does us no service at all. And I think it is a real modern issue that we're all struggling with. Yeah, definitely. I remember reading in a book years ago, something called the 1840-60 test. It said at 18, you don't do anything because you're worried what everyone thinks about you. At 40 you go, you know what I don't care what anyone thinks about me, I'm going to do it anyway. And then at 60 you get to an age where you go, nobody was actually thinking about me at all.

They were thinking about their own story.

Now, having just turned 50, I'm sort of looking forward to get into that place of thinking,

of realizing that nobody is thinking about you anyway.

But you're right.

I think so often we hear the idea of sociophobia, the fear of being ridiculed by other people, inhibits us, stops us or prevents us from going after what we really want.

And I think let's go and delve into the archive of some of our incredible guests work out.

How do we work out, how to stop caring about what some people think,

but actually switch on to what the important people think. And police don't think that, as I say,

I think this is a modern disease. It has been around forever. It was Seneca that said, we suffer more

in imagination than reality. And Loud 2 said, if you care about what other people think,

you will always be their

prisoner and i think that's one of the important things to point out here is i don't believe we see

the true cost of caring what other people think because it's so normalized and it's so common

that we just end up living a life kind of within ourselves you know the study where they sent people

into classrooms and they said to a bunch of three-year-olds,

if you can sing, put your hands up, and how many hands were raised in the air?

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