Stop Calling Your Kid "Defiant"

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Dr. Becky

Kids & Family, Parenting, Education, Relationships, Society & Culture, Self-improvement

4.8 • 4.1K Ratings

🗓️ 18 January 2022

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The biggest issue with “defiant” kids is our use of the word “defiant.” After all, labeling our children as “defiant” puts us in the mindset of seeing our child as the problem: They don’t listen! They’re purposely disobeying the rules! They always push back! In this week’s episode, Dr. Becky offers a total reframe: Defiance is actually a child’s struggle to regulate an urge *and* feel seen. Now, don’t worry—this doesn’t lead to taking an anything-goes, permissive approach. Dr. Becky shares practical strategies to put this framework into action, so you can show up as a sturdy leader, stay connected to your kid, and help your child build skills to reduce problematic behavior over time. Sounds like a total win, right? It is.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Good Inside with Dr. Becky.
0:05.6	I have so many ideas, strategies and scripts to share with you right after a word from
0:11.1	our sponsor.
0:13.1	Let's talk about play.
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0:18.2	As parents, we are exhausted and overwhelmed and thinking about playing with our kids can
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0:25.7	I get it and I've been there.
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0:42.8	So you can have those great connected moments with your kids, the ones we all want more of.
0:49.0	Designed by child development experts for kids ages 0 to 4, each play kit comes with stage-based
0:54.9	toys for your child and a play guide for you with ideas about how to use the toys to
1:00.9	play with your kids.
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1:07.5	Go to loveevery.com to learn more.
1:10.2	That's L-O-V-E-V-E-R-Y.com.
1:18.0	Hi, I'm Dr. Becky and this is Good Inside.
1:25.2	I'm a clinical psychologist and mom of three on a mission to rethink the way we raise
1:30.1	our children.
	...

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