Still Panicking: How to Have a Smear Test

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Education, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8 • 933 Ratings

🗓️ 25 June 2025

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Still Panicking: Stevie has been smashing it in the latest series of Taskmaster. To celebrate, this week we look back at some practical How-Tos to help guide you through tasks of your own.

Listen. Nobody likes them, but if you’ve got a cervix you gotta do it. You just gotta. Here’s a whistle-stop journey through a smear, colposcopy and biopsy, no holds barred, telling it like it is, and giving you plenty of reason to relax and breathe through it. And if you haven’t got a cervix, listen anyway because it’s nice to know hey?

Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Clarissa Maycock for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, welcome to Nobody Panic.
0:19.3	Hey, Tessa.
0:20.2	Hey, Stevie. Hey, people. Are you ready? Stevie, you ready to come in?
0:24.4	Stevie Martin? Is there a Stevie Martin here? Is she ready to come in? No. No. Even my little role play there sent a chill through me.
0:32.4	And through me.
0:33.4	Of waiting, waiting. Just waiting. Waiting to go in that waiting room for your smear test.
0:39.7	Here we go.
0:40.8	If you're listening to being like, I don't need smear test because I don't have a cervix.
0:44.6	Fine, but you might learn something.
0:46.8	Yeah.
0:47.3	Is it interesting?
0:48.2	Stay with us.
0:49.1	As I say, everyone can learn.
0:51.5	Also, you know, it helps you to relate to the people in your life who do have to have one
0:55.2	because when they're like, I'm not going to bother, you can be like, do, it's fine.
1:00.1	Yeah, or they might say, oh, I've got to go for one, I'm absolutely terrified.
1:02.9	And you can say, hey, I actually just listen to this podcast.
1:05.6	And they'll be like, oh my God, you ally and then they'll snog you. If that's what you're all about getting laid.
1:11.9	Being an ally is all about getting laid.
1:13.4	Get them snags in.
1:15.5	Snugs.
1:16.9	There's not, people don't say the word snog enough.
	...

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