Stand Your Ground Beef

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Society & Culture, Relationships, Personal Journals, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 24 April 2023

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On Today’s Show: 00:00:00:00.00 Introduction 00:01:46:12.62 Liberal Only And Conservative Only Grocery Stores 00:09:31:22.01 Showdown Over Stamps At The Post Office 00:14:04:09.76 White Man Asks Black Man To Turn Down His Music 00:17:55:03.08 A Very Bad Stalker Who Is In Love 00:24:37:20.11 How One Video Made Me Renounce My Involvement With The LGBTQIA+ Community 00:32:26:20.06 Sign Up For The Sideshow 00:34:02:10.51 Criminal Ear Piercing 00:38:26:05.03 Cocking A Gun To Stop The Sex Moaning 00:41:08:05.30 Another Basement Dwelling Neo Nazi Who […]

Transcript

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0:00.0	Freaks, it's Monday, April 24th, 2023 coming up on the program today.
0:05.1	Seriously, what is a triangle supposed to smell like?
0:08.6	Plus, a grocery store for liberals only.
0:12.0	When you can't concentrate on Candy Crush because your ex-girlfriend is making loud,
0:15.6	sex noises, and a grocery store for conservatives only.
0:22.8	Today's episode of Distorted View Daily is brought to you by this weekend's
0:26.9	starving artist's sale Saturday and Sunday at the Cleveland Expo Center.
0:32.0	Boats, big fucking yachts, seascapes, oceans,
0:37.0	lighthouses. These are just some of the shitty paintings you'll find at the Cleveland Expo
0:42.4	Center this weekend. Seagulls flying high towards a glowing orange sun.
0:47.6	$20, a sailboat on a calm summer night. $20, a lakeside cabin. $20, big paintings
0:56.5	to cover up holes in your walls. Little paintings to decorate a never-used guest bedroom.
1:02.2	No name artist tried to scribe together rent money. Make them an offer.
1:06.8	chew them down to $10. They'll even hang the paintings in your house.
1:12.2	These are very desperate people who made a very poor career choice.
1:16.6	Their bad life decisions are your ticket to mediocre artwork.
1:20.4	Cheap. Come check out the assholes who watch once you
1:23.8	many episodes of Bob Ross's The Joy of Painting this weekend at the Cleveland Expo Center.
1:29.1	This is the Distorted View Show with Tim Hanson.
1:32.6	It's just a fun thing.
1:35.4	That really gave me a tranny baby fever.
1:38.7	I'm not going to fight for my country. I just want to smoke the weed, man.
	...

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