Stan Tatkin: I Vow to Take You On as My Burden

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

Tami Simon

Religion, Religion & Spirituality

4.6 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 13 November 2018

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Stan Tatkin is a clinical psychologist, couples and family therapist, and the author of Wired for Love. With Sounds True, he has published a new book titled We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Stan about his unique methodology, the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). Stan explains his definition of a couple as a "biological survival unit" and some of the common occurrences that threaten the long-term cohesion of that unit. Tami and Stan discuss the ways attachment styles affect our ability to be in relationship and how we have to accept partners along with their burdens. Finally, Stan details what it means to have "secure functioning" in a relationship and the key lessons for creating a healthy, loving long-term partnership. (69 minutes) Tami's Takeaway: "Everyone is a pain in the ass," teaches Stan, "and so are you." Listening to Stan, I developed an even deeper appreciation of my beloved wife of 17 years, how she puts up with me . . . and how I put up with her. It also illuminated how the combination can lead to what Stan calls "a secure functioning relationship" where we see each other realistically, not idealistically, and are committed to collaborating as a successful "survival unit" consisting of two perfectly imperfect human beings.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This program is brought to you by sounds true.com.
0:04.0	At sounds true.com, you can find hundreds of downloadable audio learning programs,
0:09.0	plus books, music, videos, and online courses, and events.
0:14.3	At sounds true.com, we think of ourselves
0:17.2	as a trusted partner on the spiritual journey,
0:20.2	offering diverse, in-depth, and life-changing wisdom.
0:24.0	Sounds True.com. You're listening to Insights at the Edge. Today my guest is Stan Tacken.
0:41.1	Stan is a clinical psychologist licensed marriage and family
0:45.8	therapist and an author who integrates neuroscience, attachment theory, and arousal regulation in a method he's developed called
0:56.0	PACT, a psycho-biological approach to couple therapy. In this episode of
1:02.2	Insights at the Edge, Stan and I spoke about his new book called
1:07.0	We Do, saying yes to a relationship of depth, true connection, and enduring love.
1:15.1	We talked about his definition of a couple as a biological survival unit, and what threatens
1:22.3	the success of that survival unit, including something very common
1:27.4	that he calls the mismanagement of therns.
1:31.9	We talked about how one of our marriage vows should be, I vow to take you on as my burden,
1:38.9	and how important it is to accept your partner as is completely and wholeheartedly.
1:45.0	We talked about how couples undermine what Stan calls secure functioning in a relationship and the key lessons a new couple needs to
1:56.6	learn to say not just I do but we do. Here's my conversation with Stan Tackkin.
2:03.0	Stan Tackkin.
2:04.0	Stan, I'm really happy to have this chance to talk to you on Insights at the Edge.
2:15.0	Every time I talk to you, I learn something new about intimate relationships.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Tami Simon, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Tami Simon and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.