Hello, world. I'm Dave Holmes. Welcome to Troubled Waters, the show that treats popular

culture as the most important kind of culture, because it could potentially be the one

that bums you out the least, or the most. These days, truly, it's up in the air. Back in the

before times, Troubled Waters would pit two teams of comedians against one another in a pop culture

battle royale. But now, teaming up with

someone outside your quarantine pod is definitely frowned upon. More frowned upon than actually

trying to play a prank on another human being as an adult. Don't do it. So for now, it's one

comic against another to win this battle. Each comic will be called upon to use their smarts,

their rhetorical skills, the comebacks, they have been saving in a tiny moleskin notebook

for the last two years to the day to earn the coveted Troubled Waters title, Pundit Amaritus.

That'll automatically give a person's opinion on, say, Dolly Parton turning down the Rock and Roll

of Fame.

More weight than as civilians.

You're listening to troubled waters. Speaking of Dolly, I made a joke about, on Twitter, about how, like, what Dolly is saying by turning

this down is like, I feel the, the hot ray of your thwarted Betty White energy being slowly

pointed towards me. I'm good. I don't need it. It went viral. No, the point when you're a writer

on Twitter is to have something that goes viral. And your prize, if you get that, is that your joke gets in front of the stupidest idiots

in the entire fucking world.

And I know that I said the word stupidest wrong.

Like, that's how strongly I feel about it.

I have a lot of Dolly defenders now in my mention saying, like, no, she said what she meant.

Okay, fucking settle down.

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