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Flying Free

Spiritual Abuse, Scapegoating, and the Mask of Virtue [330]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

51K Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2025

⏱️ 16 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of The Flying Free Podcast, we’re talking about a book that forever changed my understanding of evil—M. Scott Peck's People of the Lie


This isn't about cartoon villains or obvious monsters. I'm talking about the kind of evil that sits in church pews, leads Bible studies, and goes home to emotionally destroy their families while maintaining a pristine public image.


Have you ever felt crazy for questioning someone's "godly" behavior when it leaves you feeling diminished and confused? You're not alone, and you're not imagining things. In this episode, I break down the subtle patterns of evil that hide behind masks of righteousness, especially in Christian contexts.


In this powerful episode, you'll discover:


• Why the most dangerous form of evil isn't loud or obvious, but subtle, polite, and often dressed in religious language and "concern" for your spiritual wellbeing

• How to recognize scapegoating—the psychological process where someone transfers their shame onto you, making you carry the emotional burden for the entire relationship

• The chilling reality of how evil people use virtue and spiritual leadership as masks to hide their true nature, and why religious communities often protect the abuser rather than the abused

• Practical ways to trust your own perceptions again after years of having your reality denied and twisted


If you've ever been told you're overreacting, too sensitive, or not spiritual enough when trying to address harmful behavior, this episode will validate your experience and give you the language to understand what you've been through.


The journey toward freedom begins with recognizing the lies for what they are. Join me as we unpack this transformative book and discover how naming evil is the first step toward reclaiming your life and your truth.


Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here 


Related Resources: 

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free

0:07.7

Podcast, a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden

0:14.1

emotional and spiritual abuse.

0:18.3

Welcome to episode 330 of the Flying Free Podcast. Hey, I bet there are so many of you who could tell me that you have been praying for many, many years, some of you decades, for your husband to change. And God doesn't seem to be answering your prayers. Well, one of our beautiful kaleidoscope

0:40.2

butterflies in our membership group shared something that was so profoundly powerful, I just thought

0:48.6

it would encourage those of you who are listening here on the Flying Free podcast. She said this.

0:53.0

I've been searching for years for

0:54.9

the answer to the question, why didn't God change my husband? I prayed for him our entire

1:01.4

several decades of marriage. I had friends and family praying for him, my pastor prayed for him,

1:08.0

and yet the cycle of abuse continued.

1:11.4

Why didn't the scripture passages come true?

1:14.4

I called on God, but it didn't seem like he answered me, nor did he show me great and mighty

1:20.6

things.

1:21.8

I knocked on heaven's door and asked, but it wasn't given unto me.

1:26.8

I sought, but I didn't find relief. I had a group

1:30.5

of people praying, but Matthew 1819 didn't come true, if two of you shall agree on earth

1:36.4

touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven.

1:42.5

My husband remained the same, with only glimpses of what could be when he brought out his

1:48.6

being nice mask.

1:50.8

That mask usually came out at church or when company was over.

1:54.7

Deep down, the man who loved power, control, manipulation, and creating chaos with your day and your emotions remained the same.

2:05.3

But today in my reading of Luke 10, I finally discovered why my prayers weren't answered. I was reading

...

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