Theo closed his mailbox and looked up and down the street.

Even just the street name, Maple Lane was sickeningly sweet.

If his now ex-wife hadn't begged him to move to the suburbs, he would never have chosen

to live somewhere like this. Every house looked picture-perfect. All of the lawns were trimmed to

perfection. There was no character anywhere to be seen.

Theo sighed and considered going into the city for the weekend. He turned around to head back to the house when he heard someone calling for him from across the street. Helen was a curvy, dark-haired

woman in form-fitting jeans and a vintage Coca-Cola t-shirt.

She was in the process of moving in that day and was flustered about a broken stove.

Theo walked through her house, which barely had any furniture in it, until they reached the kitchen.

Uh, I think it's just the pilot light, said Theo.

I can fix that, no problem.

In return, Helen poured him a glass of lemonade and offered him some cookies.

Sorry, their store-bought, she said, sinking her teeth into one.

Not too bad, though.

They went into the living room like they were old friends and sat down on the carpeted floor

with their backs against a couple of pillows propped up on the wall.

Afternoon sun streamed through the slats and the blinds. They talked about the suburbs, about their recent divorces, and how life never turned out how one

planned. Eventually, so much time had passed that they ordered pizza, and Theo went to his house

to grab a bottle of wine he had been saving for a rainy day.

It shouldn't have surprised Theo that Helen was the sort of woman who would take charge.

She pulled herself onto his lap and tossed back her hair in a wild gesture.

We've got to do something to liven things up around here, right? She said. She had a nose ring that

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