Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bail of Jesse Thorn. This week, special

prosciutto, cuter. Craig brings the case against his mother, Betty. Betty has had a dry

cured ham hanging in her basement since the 1960s. She now wants to throw it away. Craig

thinks they should cook it and eat it. Or, if it's unsafe for consumption, he'd like

at the very least to give it a proper burial. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural

reference. First, you stole my sweetie. Then you assert my place as castor's best friend.

Things were great before you showed up, but you made everyone forget me. Well, I've been

getting stronger, stronger than you. I'll give you till sundown to leave sweet Aven.

bail of Jesse Thorn, swear the litigants in. Craig and Betty, please rise and raise your

right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,

so help you, God or whatever? I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling,

despite the fact that he himself is a bit of an aged ham? I do. It's all like a think-up.

Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. I mean, what could you do, Jesse? What could you do?

You know what? You shanked me. Since we're talking about cuts of meat, you lamb shanked me,

right in the kidneys with that joke. You really made Joel Man laugh, too, right, Joel?

It's spiraling out of control. Oh, stop. Wow. Joel, turn off your mic.

Everyone turn off their microphones. You too, you too, Craig. Craig and Betty, don't turn

off their microphones. Anybody? Craig and Betty, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment.

In one of your favors, can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced,

as I entered this virtual court of fake internet law? Craig, why don't you start?

I am going to let down my child. I have a, I feel relatively good hit right in general, but of course,

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