We are receiving the more of the first time.

And, uh,

receiving this message.

We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick.

We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past,

the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge. These recordings represent our attempt to

compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost. So whether you're

listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology

to decrypt our transmissions, this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus.

This is the omnibus. You have accessed and You have accessed entry 1195.J.J.0607. Certificate number 53117. Spam! Spam! Spam! Span! Span! Span! Spam! Span! You're a foodie.

Uh, I like food quite a bit.

Of the two of us, who is the...

Who, of the two, who is the foodiest?

You have more food in your beard right now than I do. Yes, I have more beard than you do. That you have more beard in your food. I do. That's how you get food in your beard. But you and Mindy do try to eat at the new restaurants. You're always trying to get a seat or a table at a place that's hard to get a table. Yeah, but not for that reason. Oh. I have a friend who's kind of obsessed with that, like, okay, I'm going to be in such and such a city. What are the hardest tables to get? Right. And how do I figure this out? It's just gamifying eating. Basically, like, if I have an American Express black card, can I get a table at Noma? Right. And, uh, apparently for this yeah, they have some concierge service that can help you with very hard tables.

The concierges that I never remember exist.

See, this is a good story because it makes me look like a man of the people because I'm like, would you believe this bozo?

You believe this rich friend of mine that gets into the crazy restaurants?

But you like to do it around here when somebody's

like, we're opening a new fusion Thai Mexican restaurant in a garage. You're joking, but we're

...