Hello, hi and welcome to another episode of the Emma Gunn Show. I am your host, Emma Gunn

Awadner, and I thought in this episode I wanted to just, I don't know, expand on a thought because it's been percolating for a little

while. So a few weeks ago, I had lunch with my friend Katie and she said something to me over lunch

that the minute she said it was the kind of thing that made the back of my neck go hot and I thought

I was going to get angry.

But when we discussed it a bit further, I actually realized there was quite some truth in it.

And I really understood what she was saying and where she was coming from.

So let me go back a little bit.

Katie and I hadn't seen each other properly for a little while.

And she's a good friend and she was saying how well she thought I seemed. And long time listeners may remember there was a Katie when I

went on a trip to Ibiza and I properly broke down and it was the, it was the catalyst for me then

going into therapy because it was the moment at which there was just no hiding it anymore.

I was definitely depressed. I was in a state of high anxiety constantly and I could not keep it together.

So she's seen, she's seen me at my worst. She's seen me. And even then I was holding it in. I remember thinking, I don't want her to see all of this. It's so embarrassing how awful it is,

but, you know, she saw some pretty dark stuff. But she made a comment during lunch because she

was saying, you seem really well, like you seem to have, you know, I see what you've been doing.

And bizarrely, I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, I didn't have anything negative to add on it, whereas usually

I'd be like, yeah, but you know, back in the day it would have been like that anyway.

So she made a comment along the lines of sometimes our negativity and the things that we're

unhappy about, they're things that we can actually wrap ourselves up in for comfort and safety,

like we use them and they feel quite cozy.

And when she said, I wanted to shout at her, there was nothing effing comfortable about how my

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