Somebody help me, yeah? & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 26 September 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Step into the confessional for another uproarious episode of Simon Mayo's Confessions! Join Father Simon and the Confessional Collective as they explore a delightful mix of mishaps and cheeky antics that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

This week, we hear Alan's hilarious mobile mischief involving his mother-in-law's phone, resulting in some unexpected strip club invitations. Jim Lad takes us on a wild pirate adventure set in the 1700s with a spooky twist, while Tim shares his cringe-worthy moment crashing the Roadshow and Mr B has a Welsh confession.

Get ready for laughter, unexpected confessions, and reflections that will have you pondering life’s quirks. Have a wild confession? Send it to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk and join the fun!

Transcript

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1:12.8	A Rayo Original podcast step into our confessional confess all we won't tell anyone just the entire nation from greatest
1:21.8	hits radio that's what it is simon mayo's confessions just have to wait until she says your name and then do. And I'm just so keen. Yeah. I just can't wait. As soon as the microphone open, I was just thinking, is it time to record another of the country's most loved podcast? Most loved, yeah. Yeah. I think so. To which the answer appears to be, yes, it is. It's time for another Confessions podcast, the number
1:44.6	one podcast, wherever you look across the globe. Sister Susie is still in the pub. I am indeed.
1:51.4	Brother Matthew is still on his chair in the gutter. On my chair in the gutter? Yes.
1:57.1	It can't make any sense. I'll just on my chair. What kind of chair is it?
2:01.0	That would go in the gutter?
2:01.9	A very small one and a smelly one. A small smelly chair? I'm picturing a wooden stool. Why would the chair be smelly? A stool. Yeah, yeah. Like a little. What do you think of a gutter is a thing that's the curvy bit by the side of the road? That's what a gutter is.
2:17.5	It's not fitting.
2:18.8	Curved. The curved gutter.
2:20.6	The gutter.
2:21.1	Hello. the curvy bit by the side of the road that's what a gutter is. It's not
2:18.0	curved.
2:18.8	Curved?
2:19.4	Curved?
2:19.9	The curved gutter?
	...

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