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So we've just been on air on tenter hooks like cats on a hot tin roof watching the privileges committee chaired by Harriet Harmon put Boris Johnson through his paces about whether or not he recklessly misled Parliament to do with parties and all sorts.

How are you feeling now, Jane? I'm a little bit boss-eyed, actually.

Well, Mr Johnson is sticking very firmly to his stance that he did nothing wrong.

And can we just make a few idiotic observations?

Everyone's had a haircut.

Well, not only as Boris Johnson had a haircut, he's had a hair smoothed down, hasn't he?

So not one single bit of that tufty kind of cockatoo thing was poking up at all during the, well, it's three hours now, isn't he, that he's been in there.

So someone's applied a product.

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