Everybody shut up.

I'm trying to apologize. Okay, that was a bad start.

Listen, before we get into the Shoddy, me here at the Cody need to address the recent leaked text messages amongst our staff.

Because here's some news. For some reason, a bunch of our internal communications were projected

onto that big screen in Times Square and also Universal City Walk and are still up there for some

reason. I think it's that AWS outage, whatever that meant. And so everyone saw in real time the

texts where Warmbo said, and I quote,

Warmbo, eggplant emoji, the sinking of the Titanic, and then added, quote,

if you use bolt cutters to sever the wrist tendons of a dead raccoon, it looks like it's waving.

We apologize for any distress that caused you or your children, but want to use it as a learning

opportunity, specifically for you to learn the distress warmboat causes us every day of our lives.

Anyway, still better than loving Hitler, calling black people monkeys, and saying that MLK

Jr.'s holiday should be tossed into hell,

like all those Republicans did recently.

Or the president of the United States literally posting an AI video of himself flying around with a crown doing his greasy diarrhea on Americans.

So hey, moral high ground maintained.

Hold on. So hey, moral high ground maintained.

Hold on.

Is it a wet penny on yellow shag carpet?

Too close to tell.

Oh my God!

Trump shits on America Just keep seeing it when I close my eyes

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