Summary
Jen Kinney wanted to be a strong, independent woman. She had just split up with her long-term partner, and she felt a powerful need to prove that she was capable — that she could make it by herself — that she could meet her own needs.
So she decided to take herself backpacking. Alone.
She picked a 50-mile stretch of the Mountain To Sea Trail in North Carolina, and began planning meticulously. She worked through all the logistics, assembled her gear, packed everything she would need to provide for herself.
But what happened to her out in the mountains did not make her feel strong or capable. At least not right away.
The trip might not have been what she bargained for. But it left her with an important life lesson — a new understanding of what it means to take care of yourself.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, I'm Willow Belden and you're listening to Out There, the podcast that explores big questions through intimate stories in the outdoors. |
| 0:14.0 | We often go into the wilderness to prove something, to prove we can hike further, climb higher, to prove |
| 0:22.5 | something to ourselves or to others. |
| 0:26.4 | When Jen Kinney decided to go on her first solo backpacking trip, she wanted to prove she |
| 0:31.5 | was capable and strong, all by herself, alone. |
| 0:37.0 | Until a mishap on the trail made her wonder, when is it okay to need help? |
| 0:43.8 | I'll let her take it from here. The last thing I purchased in 2016 was a pair of scissors. |
| 0:52.6 | I saw them by the register of a little antique store on my way to the Appalachian Trail. |
| 0:57.4 | They're small but deceptively heavy. |
| 1:00.4 | The handles are decorated with little floor de lee. |
| 1:03.3 | The blades glide easily apart and together. |
| 1:06.3 | And then at the last moment they snap closed with a crisp, satisfying friction. |
| 1:11.8 | Snip. |
| 1:18.5 | The scissors are meant for knitting, but I don't knit. I didn't know what I bought them for. |
| 1:24.7 | They just felt like the perfect tool for an impulsive New Year's gift to myself, a way to cut ties with the year that would end tonight. I was definitely glad to be over with it. |
| 1:33.6 | Earlier that year, I had moved to Philadelphia with my boyfriend of four years. |
| 1:38.2 | He bought a row home. |
| 1:39.5 | I picked out paint colors, penny red and cobalt blue. |
| 1:43.9 | I took a video of us one day while we were |
| 1:46.3 | painting the dining room macaroni orange. It was a hot August morning, Frank Ocean on the |
| 1:51.9 | boom box, rolling this outlandish paint up the wall side by side. This is how it's going to be, |
| 1:58.8 | I thought. |
... |
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