Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

I am so viscerally afraid of accidentally texting the chief of police.

Kind of weird, that's all she wrote.

You are in my thoughts and prayers in perpetuity.

Now, mind you, I don't even have the chief of police's phone number, and why would I?

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to monologing.

I'm Mads Mitch, and I'm your host today and always because

well quite frankly this is literally my podcast so who else is going to host it? Happy freaking Monday.

It is Monday, April. Pause. Pause. Pause. It's Monday April 20th. Happy 420, baby.

Hell yeah.

Also, we have Earth Day this week.

That's right.

Earth Day is this week.

Shout out to the fellow Earth signs and to everyone who lives on planet Earth.

When it comes to Earth Day, let us all bask in the fact that Earth is so beautiful and that we need to

stop fucking voting for losers that want to destroy her. Stop it. It's kind of,

not to get, okay, we're 50 seconds in. Here I go go kind of interesting that one thing that male politicians

always want to destroy is women and we personify earth as a woman and they also want to destroy that

maybe if we changed it to father earth all of a sudden our geriatric congressmen would gather

together and say you know know what, let's

protect him. Let's protect him. He needs to be protected. I feel like I could be on to something.

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