When Basic Training Goes Horribly Wrong.

The Most Embarrassing Boot Camp Moments

It's around the 20th of December and our training instructor decides to make a trainee sing

Jingle Bells since he left his key necklace outside of his shirt, which is a big no-no.

This trainee had no idea as to what the words were, so he's doing push-ups and he's only saying,

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, he's only saying, Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells, and he just keeps on going. Our training instructor lets out a primal scream of rage, gets right up in his face

and screams at him, Jingle all the way, mother fricker. God damn was that funny.

Air Force Basic Training. We all have jobs around the barracks. Some people are on

latrine queen duty. Some people's jobs are to align the beds perfectly. My job was to man the

utility closet and keep it neat and organized and stocked with chemicals and such for the flight to use

when cleaning. It's a very small room with no ventilation. After the first two weeks of basic,

I pretty much figured out what I was going to eat at every meal, and rarely deviated. Peanut

butter packet, honey packet, a piece of bread and half a banana all mashed up together in the bread,

and hawked down with a glass of gatorade.

Also, usually some other crap depending on the meal. Well, the fifth week of training comes along,

and something terrible begins to happen to me in the chow line at dinner. No bananas, no honey,

and only the crappy white bread. So I changed my meal up. I had the spaghetti and meatballs,

and some other crap that I'm not sure of 100%.

That night on details, I'm manning the utility closet and I feel this terrible gas brewing,

or what my current sergeant likes to call bubble gut. I'm trying to hold in this mother-of-all-toots

until such a time as I can escape the closet and unleash the beast in the latrine. Apparently

my altered dinner that

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