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Black Girl Burnout

Soft is the New Rich; Choosing Ease Over Exhaustion

Black Girl Burnout

Kelley Bonner

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 764 Ratings

🗓️ 14 May 2025

⏱️ 37 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this soul-centered solo episode, Kelley Bonner returns to the mic with a personal and powerful reflection on the radical value of softness. She shares why she's shifting the podcast to a weekly cadence and how this decision reflects a deeper commitment to her values of rest, sustainability, and truth. As we move through seasons of blooming and expansion, Kelley invites you to reject hustle culture and embrace a new form of wealth—ease, softness, and alignment. Because softness isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. And it might just be the richest thing you own.

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why “soft is the new rich” is more than a mantra—it’s a movement
  • How Kelley is aligning her life and work with values of sustainability
  • The role of nervous system regulation in Black women’s wellness
  • Why expansion often means doing less, not more
  • A call to embrace your voice and show up unapologetically


Key Takeaways & Timestamps:

[00:01:00] – Softness Is the Currency of the Future

Kelley introduces the theme of the episode—why softness is the “new rich”—and how it connects to nervous system regulation, healing, and sustainability for Black women.

[00:11:00] – Softness Cannot Be Bought

She unpacks how the aesthetics of success—money, body goals, relationships—are not what create real softness. Instead, she encourages listeners to reject performative growth and anchor into internal healing.

[00:13:00] – The True Definition of Wealth

Kelley redefines richness as being able to sit in your home and feel peace. She encourages listeners to set boundaries, name their preferences, and hold space for emotional safety.

[00:24:45] – Three Ways to Build a Soft Life

She shares three actionable tips:

  1. Romance the ordinary
  2. Protect your peace
  3. Walk your talk—live soft without performative pressure

[00:35:00] – Reclaim Rest as Pleasure & Presence

Kelley wraps with a powerful call to reject exhaustion and show up in softness—even if imperfectly. She names softness as sustainability, not weakness.


Support the Show:

If this podcast speaks to you, consider sharing it with a friend, leaving a 5-star review, or shouting us out on social media. Help amplify the message that Black women deserve softness, rest, and radical joy.

Softness is your inheritance. Rest is your rebellion. And joy? That’s your revolution.

DM us on Instagram and let us know—what are you choosing to take off your plate this season?


CHECK OUT OUR PARTNERS:

  • Happy Mammoth and use my code BGB for a great deal: www.happymammoth.com
  • Revolve and use code BGB for a great deal: https://www.revolve.com/bgb



đź’¬ STAY IN TOUCH

If you’re looking for more ways to connect with the Black Girl Burnout community, we’ve got you covered:

  • Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @blackgirlburnout — Each platform offers something different, so come vibe with us where it feels right for you.
  • Join our Substack family! Think of it as a modern-day online magazine (Tumblr-coded for the millennial hearts). We share weekly reflections, tips, tools, and deeper insights into each podcast episode—plus personal notes from Kelley’s life.
  • Become a paid Substack subscriber for just $8/month (about the cost of a fancy latte) and access exclusive content like digital tools, apps, and free resources that are valued far beyond that.
  • Work with Kelley directly:
  • Book a 90-minute Clarity Catalyst Coaching Session — a deep-dive roadmap session to bring clarity and strategy to your next life move (not therapy, just powerful support).
  • If you’re in New York State, Kelley is also accepting short-term therapy clients with select insurance and private pay options. Sessions are designed to be focused and transformational within 90 days. Join the waitlist now.


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Super.com and use my code super.com/credit for a great deal: https://super.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast. Kelly here. And today is the first solo episode of me being completely visual. I'm talking to a camera, y'all. On the inside, I'm dying a little. But here I am. Here I am. And it's also week two of us going down to just a weekly cadence instead of three times a week.

0:26.0

This episode is going to dive deeply into why I made that choice, one, and two, into our theme of the month, which is being in bloom and expansion.

0:38.8

That's what I want May to be about for myself.

0:41.8

That's what I want May to be about for you.

0:44.7

And I want to dive deep into how do we get there?

0:49.1

And this episode is about the ways that we are not going to get there.

0:53.3

And it's entitled, Soft is the New Rich,

0:57.3

because I do believe it is. I think as we move forward, softness is the currency that is going to

1:04.1

make you the most healthy and the most whole in life. And I want to talk a little bit about

1:09.6

how I got to this belief and what's going

1:13.3

on in our community around wellness, around black women's advancement and expansion. And some of the

1:19.9

ways I'm going to be honest that I am seeing us go a little bit astray. And as always, talk about my

1:26.3

own personal journey, why I am going down to just

1:30.0

one time a week episodes. Also, how I want to expand this podcast. What are some of the things and the

1:36.7

journeys that I have been on around this topic of expansion and blooming? Most importantly,

1:42.2

I want this episode to be really twofold. One is personal work for me

1:49.2

and a call to action from myself to you to sit here and say with my whole chest that I am the

1:58.7

voice that is needed right now and this podcast is the message that is needed right now, and this podcast is the message that is needed

2:02.9

right now, as we head into, for some of us, the worst times we've ever seen in history.

2:09.7

And for others of us, just a lot of discomfort and uncertainty. I'm looking around the landscape,

2:15.5

and I just feel confident within myself, more than I've had in a long time, as uncomfortable as it is to say, y'all need Black Girl burnout.

2:26.9

And I need to show up and bring to you what I have to offer, my skills as a therapist, as a woman who's navigating life myself, and show up in a way

...

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