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Sofa King Podcast

SOFA KING CLASSIC: MISSING 411 – STRANGE DISSAPEARENCES

Sofa King Podcast

Sofa King Podcast

Comedy, History, Society & Culture

4.81.4K Ratings

🗓️ 16 March 2021

⏱️ 80 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Due to scheduling issues we bring you a Sofa King Classic that most of you may not have heard. Man have we changed. Check it out. We explore the “Missing 411,” the name given to mysterious and creepy disappearances in national parks and national forests in the US and Canada. In this episode of the Sofa King Podcast, we rap about the research, data, and findings of author and investigator David Paulides. Paulides (whom we simply call palates for most of the episode) was approached by Park Rangers from the National Park Service and told that rangers in every park have seen strange disappearances that have creepy similarities and pushed him to investigate. He did. In fact, he researched for over 7,000 hours and wrote five books, meticulously cataloging the official missing-person and police reports of all these cases, and the findings do show some strange data patterns. What is so strange about these disappearances? Well, the people who go missing, often take off their clothing and shoes, even in freezing cold weather. Also, they are found (dead or alive) within areas where search crews looked several times, defying typical search patterns. Often, they are children, as young as 2 years old, who are somehow found miles away or several thousand feet higher in elevation (something impossible for a child that young to pull off). There are other creepy elements as well—they go missing in the middle of large groups, they say creepy things seconds before disappearing, and often bloodhounds and cadaver dogs refuse to search for them or find no trail at all, even though people know exactly where the trail started. We look at several specific cases that show the above, and we do our best to debunk them. With some it is quite easy, with others, not so much. So, is Paulides simply reading data points that are pure coincidence and exaggerating them? Is there something truly mysterious happening? Can it all be explained through human nature? What is the link to Bigfoot, and why does it piss Brad off so much? Listen, laugh, learn.

Transcript

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0:00.0

We advise you to get off the streets as quickly as possible, it'll soon be a war there.

0:05.0

And we are, as a people, opposed to secret societies, the secret oaths.

0:10.0

I know for a fact.

0:11.0

And the secret proceedings.

0:12.0

Weapons of mass destruction.

0:13.0

I have a dream.

0:14.0

I take the threat very seriously.

0:17.0

I knew World Order.

0:19.0

Your government thanks you for your participation.

0:22.0

You are now listening to the world famous Sofakim Paka.

0:29.0

Please read from sheets.

0:31.0

I am.

0:32.0

I am.

0:33.0

Sofakim.

0:35.0

Sofakim.

0:37.0

Now repeat all very fast please.

0:39.0

I am.

0:40.0

Sofakim.

0:41.0

Faster.

0:42.0

I am.

0:43.0

Sofakim.

0:44.0

Not so fast.

...

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