So Your Mum’s a Narcissist? Let’s Talk
Almost Adulting with Violet Benson
Violet Benson
4.8 • 4.1K Ratings
🗓️ 26 May 2025
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Welcome back to Benson Book Club! Today we’re diving into Chapter 4 of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson—aka the one that explains why you can’t trust, love, or text back without spiraling.
Think your mom’s a narcissist? You might be onto something. Convinced your dad’s emotional unavailability ruined your love life? You’re not wrong. This episode is your Roman Empire. If you’ve ever felt unloved, emotionally starved, or like you sabotage every relationship—this might explain why. Let’s get into the trauma tea.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Emotionally immature parents have low empathy and are emotionally insensitive. |
| 0:03.9 | So emotionally mature people, they're often inconsistent and contradictory. |
| 0:08.3 | Since they don't have a sense of who they are, they tend to kind of have various borrowed parts. |
| 0:14.1 | But the self-involvement of emotionally immature adult is more childish than childlike. |
| 0:19.8 | Unlike children, their eagercentrism lacks joy and openness. |
| 0:24.6 | They are self-preoccupied in an obsessed way, not with the innocence of a child. Young children |
| 0:29.5 | are self-centered because they're still commanded by pure instinct, but emotionally mature adults |
| 0:34.6 | are commanded by anxiety and insecurity, like wounded people who must keep checking their intactness. |
| 0:41.5 | They live in a perpetual state of insecurity, fearing that they'll be exposed as bad, inadequate, or unlovable. |
| 0:48.1 | They keep their defenses high so other people cannot get close enough to threaten their shaky sense of self-worth. |
| 0:53.4 | It's vile events and your favorite meme queen and the big sit you didn't ask for, but |
| 0:57.6 | need of welcome to almost adulting. |
| 1:05.6 | Are you ready? |
| 1:07.2 | Hi, Basties, and welcome to a brand new almost adulting. |
| 1:10.6 | I can't believe it's already the end of the month. I'm going to kill myself. Sorry. I'm welcome, yeah, to a brand new episode. I just want to welcome anyone that's a new listener. Thank you so much for joining in. Welcome. And I hope you stay. Don't forget to subscribe to today's podcast that we have on every Thursday. |
| 1:27.9 | If you're returning listener, I love you so much. Thank you so much for coming back every single |
| 1:32.4 | week to listen to my advice, my big sisterly advice. I am your Russian big sister and your host, |
| 1:39.3 | Vialeta, and welcome to a brand new episode. So today's episode is more on the serious side. |
| 1:43.9 | And I think it's |
| 1:44.6 | going to benefit so many people because it has to do with growing up with parents who maybe |
| 1:50.8 | act like your best friend versus like your parent. Maybe they're emotional unavailable. Maybe |
| 1:55.3 | they're narcissistic. So it's about growing up with parents who are immature in their own way, who don't know how to parent. |
... |
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