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So, I need to apologise at the beginning. I've moved house and I think the sound quality in this room is slightly less.

Oh, God. Pin prick perfect and it wasn't really flat. I can't detect at all. I'm sure the listeners won't care.

Highly attuned ears. But I've got to say, boys, something I can't think things have changed for me now.

Now that I'm a homeowner, the main difference being I moved in. I didn't know this when we bought the place.

It's God. Don't know if you've got one of these. A soft closing toilet lid.

Oh. So, is that like does that mean it's got a slow, slow hint? Yes. So, you let it go and it just slowly goes down and then just kisses the rim.

It does, doesn't it? It just gently.

And it's changed, it's changed everything for me now. Because in the past, you know, I used to, I used to,

you used to slam. I don't slam a pen out of the night. Anger, what I just had to go through.

Yeah. You would slam down that rim, wouldn't you? It wasn't a kiss so much as it was a headbutt, wasn't it?

That's right. You'd be getting through a new toilet seat every six months or so, wouldn't you? Well, that's right.

Because the bulk, yeah, because the ceramic under unit maintains its integrity, doesn't it? But it's the,

and you were getting increasingly harder and harder woods, weren't you? In your seats, you would have got teaks, mahogany's cherries.

Very rare rainforest woods that I had rainforest woods.

Allegedly, actually, on the black market, then you're moving up to your metals and then your, your onyxes.

But they just all eventually get shattered, wouldn't they?

The obsidian seat.

The problem is, I then used a third party toilet in, in, in, in in fact, John Lewis,

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