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Ladies and Jim, it's time for the strawberry later with my good friend, Shirley, strawberry.

Thank you, my good friend, junior, subject, smoke and mirrors.

Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm in a long-distance relationship with a man that my daughter hooked me up with.

He's a bodybuilder, and my daughter met him at her gym. She said she was looking in the mirror

working out when he came and stood in front of her to see himself in the mirror. She said,

other than being vain, he's extremely quiet and nerdy. He and I talked a lot in the beginning,

and it was fun to have someone to talk to. I overlooked the fact that every time we talked,

he was smoking weed or had just had some weed or was planning to smoke wheat at any minute.

After a few months of doing video chats, he wanted to see me. I told him he could

come visit me at my house, but he insisted that I come visit him, especially since my daughter

lives in the same city. He bought me a ticket and asked me to stay at his house. I planned to stay

in his guest room, but I left after he told me what he had planned for the weekend.

As he showed me around his house, I saw condoms on his nightstand, and I was totally turned

off by the floor-to-ceiling mirrors in his bedroom. He asked what I was into sexually, and I was

shocked because we'd never talked about fetishes and role playing. He told me what he wanted to do

...