News where we're going we're going we don't need news hold on do where we're going we do

where we're going we do need news. It's a news show.

That's why you're here.

It's the one thing we need.

I'm so sorry, we gotta go back.

We gotta go back, we gotta go back, we gotta go back,

we gotta go back,

all right, look, hi, happy holidays.

It's holiday season, okay? And here is some more news. We got you a brand new speaker of the House of Representatives. Mike Johnson, he's right out of the box. Last name is a word for penis, so that's cool. Shoulda put a tea in that name, Johnson. Anyway, that concludes all the good things about Mike Johnson.

A man birthed from tremendous embarrassment as the GOP-led house continues their turd jamboree of infighting and unlikeability.

Like, yeah, these do-nothing politicians, am I right?

But as we've talked about before on the show, the current house is going far beyond the baseline uselessness featured in a Dennis Miller monologue, a reference so old and obscure that even Dennis Miller wouldn't make it.

Their previous house speaker lasted less than a year and is now retiring in what I'm going to assume is shame.

And as his replacement, Johnson leaned on the Democrats to avoid a government shutdown so they don't look more of the fool.

Whom I pity. That means all eyes were and are on this Mike Penison fellow.

Eyes that would go on to notice that this new speaker of the house,

a man second in line after VP, to be president,

was also at the risk of editorializing.

A bit of a scary little freak.

Not sure how else to put it, exactly.

Mike Johnson really seems to be a scary little freak, otherwise known as, you know, an average member of the GOP.

Hey, title time! Mike Johnson is a scary little freak.

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