Before we go any further, I realise that many of you must have been listening to this podcast thinking,

I really like this. I really like the sound of the New European, but I'm not quite sure I want to

spend loads of money to find out if I do like it. So I have got a proposal for you, a whole month

of the New European for one pound. If you like it, you can carry on paying five pounds a month.

That's a little more than a pound a week. But if you've been sitting there thinking I'd like to get

the New European, but I'm not sure I really want to spend the money, now's the time to go for it.

Just one pound and it's yours for a month. Go to the new European dotco.com.uk

forward slash two mats. This offer is the best you'll get anywhere and it's exclusive to two

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dip your toe into a whole new world of

journalism. Hello, I'm Matt Kelly. And I'm Matt Dankona. And this is the two mats for the

weekending Friday, the 15th of September. Just a couple of cool fruits that always know where the

towels are. What the hell does this mean? What does that mean?

What's a fruit?

It's a reference to the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, of which more anon.

I've just exposed my lack of knowledge of Douglas Adams' masterpiece.

It's a dog whistle to hitchhiker's fans.

All right.

So anyway, what did we talk about in this?

Well, we talked about Joe Biden,

health thereof,

and I think more importantly,

...