4.7 • 643 Ratings
🗓️ 20 March 2025
⏱️ 22 minutes
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0:00.0 | What hijinks to sleepwalkers pull that drive people in their houses crazy. |
0:05.9 | My wife's favorite story to tell is when she woke up in the middle of the night to find me |
0:09.7 | slowly walking out of our bedroom. She asked, are you okay? What are you doing? And I said, |
0:15.3 | There's someone downstairs in the kitchen, unrolling the tinfoil. Oh, okay, sweetie, what's your |
0:20.4 | plan? I'm going to stop them. |
0:23.2 | Shall we get a bit more sleep and then both go down together? Long pause? Okay. And then I went back |
0:29.1 | to bed. Subsequent investigations found a small plastic bag on the floor near my head being |
0:34.6 | rustled by the movement of the curtain, because the window was open. |
0:38.8 | My ex-boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep, and the funniest story was this one time |
0:42.8 | I was still up reading a book, and I hadn't noticed that he was already asleep next to me. |
0:47.3 | Suddenly he bursts out, |
0:48.6 | Will you just give me the frickin' yoghurt already, Sharon? |
0:51.3 | In a flawless British accent, and it scared the crap out of me. |
0:54.8 | We're both German, and neither of our first languages include English. |
0:58.3 | We didn't know a Sharon. He's lactose intolerant as well. |
1:03.2 | My boyfriend broke wind very loudly and proceeded to say, you've got the wrong guy. |
1:09.2 | My girl woke up one night and said, did you find your rocks? And I asked her |
1:13.5 | what she was talking about and she said, I don't know, I'm just trying to make conversation and promptly |
1:18.4 | went back to sleep. She has no recollection of this. My boyfriend woke me up the other day by |
1:24.3 | gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of way, until eventually I was like, can you stop that? He sounded genuinely upset and asked |
1:33.5 | why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer. Brilliant. |
1:40.0 | My boyfriend either recites post codes, he's a delivery driver, or calls the dog in his sleep. |
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