Siri Hustvedt on living on when the love of your life dies

The Shift with Sam Baker

Sam Baker Ltd

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Personal Journals

4.8 • 525 Ratings

🗓️ 5 May 2026

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My guest today is the acclaimed writer Siri Hustvedt. The author of seven novels (including my personal favourite What I Loved and the Booker longlisted The Blazing World), five essay collections, a poetry collection and a memoir, The Shaking Woman, or a history of my nerves. Her work has been translated into more than thirty languages. She is also a lecturer in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical college. Siri’s work has always explored the liminal space between mind, memory and heart but perhaps none more so than her latest memoir, Ghost Stories, a devastating (but also joyous) reflection on the 43 years she spent with her husband, writer Paul Auster, before his death in 2024. The ghost in question is him but its pages are haunted by the ghost of them. Siri joined me from her home in Brooklyn to talk about long love, losing your everyday, the grief that floored her and the way an enduring relationship moulds those who dwell in it. We also discussed why happiness is not a goal, how society fears death, learning not to feel guilty about being outspoken, writing to keep Paul and Siri alive, how grief made her creaky and how she misses the olfactory hallucinations that accompanied her after Paul’s death. This is a sad one, but I promise you, there is plenty of love and joy. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, including Ghost Stories by Siri Hustvedt as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to The Shift, the podcast that aims to tell the no-holds about truth about being a woman post-40, created and hosted by me, writer and broadcaster Sam Baker.
0:16.7	My guest today is the acclaimed writer, Sirih Hustvet, the author of seven novels, including
0:23.2	my personal favourite, what I loved, five essay collections, a poetry collection, a memoir for shaking
0:30.2	woman, or a history of my nerves. Her work has been translated into more than 30 languages,
0:36.6	and she is also a lecturer in psychiatry.
0:40.4	Siri's work has always explored the liminal space between mind, memory and heart, but perhaps
0:46.9	none more so than her new memoir, Ghost Stories, a devastating reflection on the 43 years she spent with her husband, the writer Paul Orster,
0:57.3	before his death in 2024.
1:00.2	The ghost in question is him, but its pages are haunted by the ghost of them.
1:06.1	My last words were, God, we had fun.
1:12.7	We did.
1:17.3	And, you know, it's strange because I had no idea that that's what I would think of. You know, you're dying dear 43 years of life together person.
1:23.2	And that's what I thought.
1:25.0	Oh, God, we had fun together.
1:26.5	We really did.
1:27.9	Siri joined me from her home in Brooklyn to talk about long love, losing your every day,
1:33.9	the grief that flawed her, and the way an enduring relationship molds those who dwell in it.
1:40.9	We also discussed why happiness is not a goal, how society fears death, learning not to feel guilty about being outspoken, how grief made her creaky, and how she misses the olfactory hallucinations that accompanied her after Paul's death.
2:00.2	Now, this is a sad one, but I promise you there is
2:04.1	plenty of love and joy too. I'm so honoured you agreed to come on, Siri.
2:21.4	Thank you.
2:22.3	Oh, well, you're very kind.
	...

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