Sir Keir Starmer on his matchday rituals, the humanity of 5-a-side and ketchup bans
For Our Sins: The Clichés Pod Archive
The Athletic
4.8 • 538 Ratings
🗓️ 14 January 2022
⏱️ 43 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Jack Pitt-Brooke are joined by Sir Keir Starmer, leader of the opposition, for the latest instalment of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
Among Keir's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are fans' matchday rituals, the great leveller that is amateur five-a-side, the intense irritation of sitting next to a fan who commentates through the game and Premier League managers' ketchup bans.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Athletic. |
| 0:03.5 | I'm sorry, you can sit there and look and play with all your silly machines as much as you like. |
| 0:08.7 | Is gas going to have a crack? |
| 0:10.4 | Yes, you know. |
| 0:11.3 | Oh, he's there. |
| 0:13.9 | Brilliant. |
| 0:17.1 | He's round the goalkeeper. |
| 0:19.8 | He's done it. |
| 0:21.1 | Absolutely incredible! |
| 0:23.0 | He launched himself six feet into the crowd |
| 0:26.6 | and Kung Fu kicked a supporter who was eyewit without a shadow of an out giving him lip. |
| 0:33.7 | Oh, I say! |
| 0:35.6 | It's amazing! |
| 0:36.7 | It does it tame, and tame, and tame amazing. It does it tame and tame and tame again. |
| 0:39.7 | Frank of the music, charger glass. |
| 0:43.6 | This nation is going to dance all night. |
| 0:47.8 | Fitness tests before Prime Minister's questions, |
| 0:51.0 | gracious tweets about the success of rival clubs, |
| 0:53.7 | the psychological jungle of injury |
| 0:55.4 | time, the horror of someone with younger, quicker legs turning up to the weekly five aside, |
| 1:00.3 | people leaving games with two minutes still to go, the intense irritation of sitting next to a fan |
| 1:05.3 | who commentates through the game, and Sarkier Starmes Pro-Tomato Catch-Up Manifesto. |
... |
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