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Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Singing to the Lord to save Herschel

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2024

⏱️ 7 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

So what happened to joke-telling?For one thing, some of the best jokes are about death. The old Republican is dying and tells his wife, “I’m going to switch parties because I’d rather it happen to a Democrat than to one of us.” These are maybe less funny when you get to be my age. For another thing, a politician came along in 2015 who isn’t funny. This was a first. There were dozens of George Bush jokes and Bill Clinton jokes but with this guy, late-night comics deliver very clever insults but nobody laughs.I’m not giving up. I was on the phone with a pal who’s in chemo and we spent 58 minutes telling jokes back and forth, including the one about the priest asking the widow, “Did your husband have any last request?” and she said, “Yes, he asked me to put down the gun.” The pal laughed so hard she almost split a seam. Later she called me back to tell me one more. Herschel was swept out to sea by a tidal wave and Mama cried out, “God, you can’t do that to my boy! Bring him back!” and another wave washes Herschel back and Mama cries, “Thank you, God” and then looks at Herschel and looks up at the sky — “He was wearing a hat!” I’ve heard that joke many times and I’m starting to get it. A guy needs a hat.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit garrisonkeillor.substack.com/subscribe

Transcript

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0:00.0

The communion hymn in church last Sunday was all people that on earth do dwell, which I cherish

0:22.3

for the lines sing to the Lord with cheerful voice serve him with mirth which is the only time comedy is mentioned in our hymnal I do believe. There's joy and

0:37.4

rejoicing and gladness, but the thought of serving our Creator with jokes is rather rare, and I think it's a beautiful idea.

0:50.0

I'm not sure I know exactly what Joy is, but I do know the one about the engineer who sees

0:59.3

another engineer rolling a little pellet between his fingers,

1:05.0

and he says, I'm trying to figure out if this is more rubbery or more like plastic.

1:12.0

And the first engineer takes the pellet from him and says well

1:16.5

there is there is plasticity to it but there's a viscosity a sort of liquidity too.

1:25.0

And he puts it in his mouth and he says,

1:28.0

and there's a salinity to it as well.

1:32.0

Where did you get it? And the other engineers said, out of my nose. A joke

1:39.7

is a friendly transaction between two persons and even if it falls flat it

1:47.1

conveys a generous spirit. I have four friends who still tell me jokes, three men, one woman, all of them old enough to remember the Helen

2:00.7

color jokes. How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?

2:04.8

She tried to read the waffle iron.

2:07.8

And the light bulb jokes, how many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

2:15.6

Define light.

2:18.8

Or the, what's the difference, joke?

2:21.8

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef?

2:28.0

And what did the blank say to the blank? What did the maxi pad say to the fart?

2:35.9

You are the wind beneath my wings.

2:40.1

And the double amputee jokes, what do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall?

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