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Standard Issue Podcast

SIM Ep 838 Pod 248: You can never have too much Zoe Lyons (or too many celebrity court cases)

Standard Issue Podcast

Standard Issue

Society & Culture

4.71.1K Ratings

🗓️ 5 April 2023

⏱️ 89 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We bloody love Zoe Lyons. She's funny, she's honest and she gives great interviews. So, in this week's podcast, Mick grabbed some time with the comedian to talk about midlife crises, jokes as a defence mechanism and lifting weights. Jen's having a chat with Liv Hennessy and Lisa Spirling, writer and director of the new play Vardy v Rooney: The Wagatha Christie Trial. And there's more celebrity trials ahoy in BT, as Hannah takes a look at Paltrow v Man who can't enjoy a wine tasting anymore. There's golf and Wimbledon chat in Jenny of The Blocks, and in RoD we're watching 1998's The Butcher Boy. Did we like it? Well...  Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/standardissuespodcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the off-menu podcast James A. Caster here from the off-menu podcast and at the moment off-menu is being sponsored by Cadbury branch bars the Cadbury branch

0:09.7

Oak bar and the Cadbury branch nut bar some people think oats and nuts aren't very exciting

0:14.7

Well, hey, you're dipping in Cadbury chocolate. You're gonna wolf them down. Yeah, it's all stuff you think you should be eating

0:20.0

But you're not really jumping at the chance. Add Cadbury chocolate. You'll be going hog wild. Cadbury brunch oats is oats, but actually tasty

0:27.4

Cadbury branch nuts. It's nuts, but actually tasty. Why don't you go and give them a try now and don't forget to listen to

0:34.2

the off-menu wherever you get your podcasts.

0:50.2

I think my intimate gift is for the Harry dog. Yeah, not for you for me. It's what I call it. Oh, standard issue for all women. Hello and welcome to episode 248 of the standard issue

1:01.8

Podzine. I'm Mickey Noonan and I was worried I was gonna get hit by a goose, but I was not hit by a goose. Well, that is good news. It's great news, isn't it?

1:11.4

Basically, we went to Wales for the weekend and we went on a zitwire. I went on a zitwire and I was very excited, but I was very worried

1:19.8

because all I could think about was that video of supermodel Fabio getting hit by a goose on a roller coaster. Have you seen that?

1:30.8

No, I'm Cad. Oh, I'll send it to you. He goes up on the roller coaster. He's like opening the new roller coaster now. Everyone's like, oh Fabio's here. They're supermodel Fabio and they trek off.

1:43.8

And then when it films him coming back in, he's just covered in blood and feathers. It's been a bird strike. It broke his nose. So anyway, I said to Gary, I said, I'm a bit worried that I'm gonna get hit by a goose.

1:57.8

And he went, I don't think you're gonna get hit by a goose. I was like, I don't think Fabio thought he was gonna get hit by a goose.

2:03.8

How big was the zitwire? It was amazing. It was in two parts. It was really high up in the lovely Welsh mountains. It wasn't the Snowdonia one. It wasn't velocity. It was called the Phoenix. And it was adrenaline pinching. It was really, really good fun. Love it.

2:19.8

Did you shed your pants a bit or like not that kind of frightening? No, at the top Gary went smelly later. And I went, you might smell me halfway down.

2:28.8

But that didn't happen. No, it was, it was real like made me really giddy. It was very exciting. Big success all round.

2:37.8

I think anything when you haven't shit yourself by the end of it is very particularly when you're prone to shit in yourself like I always say you got a form mate.

2:45.8

I want to say you, Mickey. I was very much narrowed down on you. I'm Hannah Dunlavy and I thought the leftovers had become real at the weekend.

2:55.8

Who disappeared? My mother. Oh no. My sister was moving out so I was helping her and on the way going back home I was going to pass a tip so I was taking stuff that needed going to the, to the tip.

3:11.8

So we come out of my sister's house and walked down her pathway. She lives in a cul-de-sac so then there's like five cars parked next to each other.

3:20.8

So this whole journey would take 30 seconds at most. It's a few maybe a hundred yards at most. And I go to the back of my car and I put the last bit of rubbish in.

3:31.8

And my mom is walking behind me and I close the boat and I turn around and she's not there. She's just not there.

...

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