Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmuss and this is a center of presents.

So in the past made a video about stonewalling and it's how it relates to relationships

and how it can be one of the four horsemen that Dr. John Gottman talks about.

Dr. John Gottman was a psychologist who claimed to be able to do this.

He's one of his big claims.

He claimed he could watch and listen to a couple have a discussion on any topic for 15

minutes and with I think he said 90% accuracy be able to predict whether their marriage was

headed to divorce or that they're going to be fine.

Now that's a huge claim but what he noted was he didn't just like kind of like say that.

He actually studied couples and how they spoke to each other and how they responded to

each other and the presence of four of these what he called the horsemen of the apocalypse

was an indicator, a really strong indicator of the health of the relationship.

And so it's important I think to look into like what are those things and what can you

do if you're in a relationship or if you're going to be in a relationship what can you

do to like you know protect or almost like you know kind of bomb proof your relationship.

So we already talked about stonewalling how to hold video about that.

So the next one is defensiveness.

One defensive posture can be like oh yeah well you also did it did it right.

So it's that sense of or you didn't make it clear enough to me it's it's that sense

of I'm not able to take an honest honest critique and honest correction.

So not being unwilling to take that honest correction would be defensiveness but there's

another kind of passive defensiveness and what I mean by passive defensiveness is it's

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