The following program is a podcast one.com production from Hollywood, California by way of the Broken Skull Ranch. This is the Steve Austin show. Give me a hell yeah.

Now here's Steve Austin. And today's show is me thanking you for listening to this show for downloading it and for making it a success. And before I move on, I want to thank my sponsors for jumping on the back of this show because this just ain't any old show. This sunbitch is a little bit edgy. It takes a real sunbitch to jump on the back of this freight train. And I appreciate if you support these sponsors, give them a look, check out what they're all about. They help

keep this show on the air for free. It's good for you. It's good for me. It's good for everybody. Plus they got some good shit. So check it out. Also before I get rolling on this sunbitch and tell you to bust ass stories that are true stories, which happen to me. One, which involves me almost dying. I want to remind you that redneck island. The season premiere starts on June 5th on CMT country music television right after the CMT music awards. That's June 5th. Redneck Island.

Best damn show on TV. I might be a little bit biased, but that's just the way it is. And that's all I got to say about that. With that being said, let me take a breath of fresh air. I got a debt-defined story to tell you folks. True story. Almost died recently. How did you almost die Steve? Did you get hit by a car that a building almost fall on you? Piece of metal from the sky. Airplane. What was it? I was not that shit.

I slipped and I got damn bathtub and almost busted my head open. Now think about it folks. If I'd have slipped down in the bathtub and busted my goddamn head on a piece of glass with a sharp edges in my shower, though it would have been a real shitty way for me to die. But it damn near happened. And out of all the things that anybody ever remembers a Steve Austin, I don't want to be sitting around saying, well got them. Tell me again how will Steve Austin met his demise? Well, some bitch slipped on a bar. Soap was

going to be reaching down to pick up his scrub on a stick, asked over T. Can't look busted his head on a sharp edge and blood to death. Oh shit, it damn near happened. And here's how it happened. I was in the shower scrubbing up, had a little bit of soap and my eyes and tried to reach for my scrub on a stick. Now normally I got a little clear mat in there. Like a lot of you people have. It's usually a clear mat or it's one of those white ones with a little suction cups on the bottom of it. Keeps you from slipping in the shower. Well, I had one, but that little motherfucker was folded up.

On the side of the bathtub. So my lazy ass was too lazy to pick it up and put it up at the bottom of the bathtub. So almost slipped and killed myself. So I started thinking to myself, man, I'm a guy. Guys are stupid. But guys are tough and macho, too. At least when you come from my neck of the woods, and but you ain't even got to be tough and macho to do this. I started thinking, man, I got to make this shower a little bit more of a tough environment, a little bit cooler. Make a cool factor, too.

Because I always enjoy a good shower. You know, scrub all the dirt and shit off. You know, from going to the gym and everything. I probably take a couple of showers a day and safety being paramount. I might as well remodeled my bath, my bathtub and make it, you know, deck it out. So it's like cool as a motherfucker to go in there, not just to get clean, but as a place to hang out as well.

So I started thinking I got to start with the floor first and that little clear suction pad gimmick. It's effective, but it ain't cool enough. It ain't tough enough. So what I figured I was going to do, I get my pocket knife. We all carry a pocket knife. Remember the earlier shows when I said every guy must have a pocket knife.

I'm going to get my pocket knife and I'm going to get a mud grip tire and I'm used that pocket knife to peel the treads off that mud grip tire. Maybe something like a BF Goodridge all terrain TA or something like that and line about on that floor with that mud grip. That way it's tough. I ain't going to slip and I feel like a guy.

Then while I'm at it, you got to dress that sandwich up a little bit more, right? How about hanging a gun rack in there? Shit, I'm not going to keep my guns in there because they'd rust up, but I can keep my scrubber on a stick there.

For when I'm really dirty, I can get one of those barbecue steel scrubbers. You know, you're talking about most sitting looking at you don't talk about no shit. Don't.

You got to have one of these motherfuckers in your shower. What else can I put in there? Well, you know, on my scrubber on a stick, I can also put a scope on my scrubber on a stick. That way I can really put the cross hairs on all that dirt on my body from head to toe. I'll put the cross hairs on it. Hell, I put that me out to 12 by what's my me off the scope that me off the four by 12 by 50 scope.

We just came out with for the broken skull ranch. I'll dial in on that fucking soap and scrub this shit out of it till it comes off. Then what else can I do to make it some even more cooler, Mo? Well, I got it. I got it. I'm a matter of CB and that motherfucker. I'm out of CB just in case of an emergency.

I can see it right now. It's going to happen like this. I'm in the shower. I get some soap in my eyes. I take a tumble. I reach up and I grab my mic. Breakin' one, nine, breakin' one, nine. I've fallen and I can't get up.

What you 20 good buddy? I'm over here on 316 gimmicks street. I need you to send me an ambulance. Mo that could save my goddamn life, couldn't it? Having a CB in the shower is a great idea. We're gonna carry your cell phone in there. No, you can't take a cell phone in the shower. Gonna make the motherfucker quit. I got an iPhone. If I take in the shower, it's gonna break down. Got the CB back up. There's gonna be about 50 to 100 truckers out in the front of my damn house trying to carry me to the hospital.

It's gonna be a beautiful thing. We're gonna have a convoy, a convoy to get Austin's dumb ass to the hospital.

That's all the customization I've come up with on my shower folks. It's bullshit. I always try to teach you some stuff on this show.

I told you you get a pocket knife. I told you to put a spare key in front of your house. Now get your lazy ass. Don't get you on him.

You're gonna be watching Cup gimmicks. Put it down in your shower or your bathtub. So you don't fall in bust. You're a little hell open.

And you can also folks if you want to keep on this, if you want to keep on this upgrading your shower,

making this shower a little bit more of a manly thing, you can email me your ideas for making a macho shower to questions at Steve Austin Show.com.

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