Okay, we have a real problem here.

You're waking up with Sarah and Vinny.

Fricin amazing.

Alice at 97.

Okay, now I realize I teased you with this story so I'll do it first.

And I also want to make a point before I get into this as you know I do not drink and if you don't know that I do not drink for a reason

if I could drink I'd have one in my hand right now. You'd have all the drinks.

All the time, too.

But now you're not that guy.

Right.

The guy who doesn't drink.

One of the foremost experts on alcohol and longevity has revealed the exact number of days,

months, and years booze shaves off your life. How did he figure it out? I don't know.

Science. Right.

The average of just two drinks per week, like bottles of beer, regular glasses of wine, or a couple shots of liquor,

which if you're doing shots you're not doing

yeah, right, you know, a shot and then top.

No one's doing an average of two shots a week and that's all they're doing.

But I understand your point.

It's Monday, I gotta have a, I need a shot at tequila.

Anyway, two bottles of beer, two regular glasses of wine,

or two shots across a lifetime.

...