Which is the greater achievement? Getting a PhD or having a child. This is, of course, very subjective,

but I found it fascinating that on Reddit, there was a conversation in the child-free subreddit about

this collision that was happening within a family where they were, where she was sort of trying to figure out,

why does her family value her cousin who's having a child above what she just accomplished,

and that is to get a PhD? Fascinating the way that she describes this collision. She said,

am I allowed to be bitter and petty here

for a moment? I'm going to vent. And then she says in a disclaimer, I fully realize I'm being

petty and bitter. I should not be this immature at 36, but I'm going to allow myself because I've been

holding it in. Nobody gives a crap about my accomplishments because having a baby is the accomplishment apparently.

Well, I guess I'm being unfair. My partner and my mom are my biggest cheerleaders, as is one of

my aunts, my brother and the rest of my family, nada. I got a PhD, which was met with lukewarm

likes on my Facebook post announcing that I had just passed my oral examination.

I published my first book and none of my family came to the launch except for my mom, my partner, and my aunt.

Plenty of co-workers and friends came and it was local. I get tenure. Again, no congratulatory gift,

visits, or even a phone call. They don't buy my book or even ask for a free copy.

Even while I was doing my PhD, I get the occasional, you're still in school comment.

When a younger family member chose to go into a two-year program, which is great, it was all, that's such a good choice.

They'll finish in two years and find a job.

The year I finished my PhD, my cousin decided to have her first baby at 20. It was planned. Let me tell you, it's like

she won a Nobel Prize. My family started sharing all of her posts. There's a huge gender reveal

in a rented space, a lavish catered baby shower,

plenty of gifts, a family group chat is started for the sole purpose of keeping up with baby things.

...