Ted Audio Collective

I cried in a group meeting with four of my colleagues a few months ago.

Most of them I've known, worked with, and taught with for the past seven years.

I know these people really, really well, but it was the first time I actually cried in

a meeting with them.

And I'm not saying crying is the gold standard, something we should or shouldn't do in organizations,

but it was really interesting to me that I'd finally let my guard down.

So let me tell you the situation.

I was sharing some feedback on things we could do better in the classroom.

And honestly, in sharing that feedback, I was very nervous, because often in my research

and in other research, it's very clear that feedback is often met with defensiveness.

And what happened when I gave the feedback?

Defensiveness.

So quite frankly, I was angry and I was frustrated.

I literally could feel my jaws clenching up, my hands growing sweaty and my heart starting

to palpitate, because I really wanted to say, hey, you're being defensive.

Stop being defensive.

Just listen to what I have to say, but I didn't say anything.

And the conversation continued and it continued.

And the tenseness in my body grew, grew even tighter.

And I thought to myself, wait a minute, I'm angry and frustrated.

These emotions matter.

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