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I'm 11 Jessica. Welcome to the program. Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Sure. What's happening? Well, I think I will start by forming my question for you and then following with some details to support.

I am calling for some advice to help me determine if I should move forward with a trip that my mother has planned to visit me.

And most recently she formulated this trip without consulting me and under false presences, but the issue deeper lies in that.

And you're going to have to explain that to me. How somebody could put together a trip and not that you're going on without you knowing you're going on a trip. Explain that to me.

It's it's kind of mind boggling to me as well. I will explain that we also do not have a great relationship so there goes a bit deeper, but she.

She claims that she called me first to plan this trip to come visit for only just a few days. She says just pop in for a couple hours.

I haven't seen each other in four years. And I said, OK, and I told her when I was when our family was available for her to come.

And I come to find out that she had already planned a trip for to come here at another time to visit some friends.

And she basically lied and said that she was coming to me first, but she didn't.

So now she's planned a trip that we're unavailable for.

And it's one of those things where I need to determine do I need to change what we already have going on to accommodate her.

Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Let me hear the reason. Let me hear your reasoning guilt 100% guilt.

I think that's about what?

So I haven't seen her in four years.

I understand that. But what guilt?

If she wants to visit you, she'll have to do it four days before or four days after. What guilt? I don't understand.

So it's up to her to change whatever she was planning. I still don't have 100% knowledge, but she.

Yeah, the guilt is she and I don't have a good relationship.

Why do you feel guilt for that? Why do you feel guilt for that?

She I think she feels guilt for that. And how do you know?

She hasn't exactly said it, but she.

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