If you're searching for a spouse or your kids are wanting to get married, what are some qualities to look for in a potential mate?

I'm John Fuller joined by

Aaron and Greg Smalley who lead the focus marriage department and Greg when your

daughters who are now married were dating were there character qualities

that you encouraged them to look for?

I just said look for someone like me.

Yeah, there we go.

That's what I said too.

Yeah.

I think first and foremost, know as God has clearly given us free will to choose who we want to

marry he does say that this needs to be someone who shares your values, your beliefs as a believer.

So first and foremost, it was always fine, you know, this young man who's given his

heart to the Lord and is following Christ. I think

beyond that things that were important for me was emotional intelligence.

You know, I want you to find someone who understands they have emotions and knows how to

manage them because that's a beautiful part of who how God created us. I think another big one was growth-minded, you know, look for someone

who's teachable who in the evidence of that is someone who has mentors, has gone to a counselor, seeks out their pastor, asking good questions.

What you want to hear is, hey I don't have all the answers so I'm curious well what do you

think about this versus someone who's a know-it-all and you know I don't need help I

got I got it that that to me is not growth-minded.

You know, how does this person, you know, handle your heart,

so observe how they treat you during conflict

...