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Sean South starts now.

Yeah. South starts now. Dear Sean, the letter began in childish handwriting.

There's a dog in my neighborhood who was lost and followed me home.

We think he is an Irish setter.

Mom says I can have him, but I should ask you because it's a lot of responsibility for a 10-year-old to have a dog. The letter was signed, Ellen. Well, dear Ellen, first off,

your mother's right. Having a dog is a huge responsibility, and I should know I have three huge responsibilities.

My dogs are Thelma Lou, Bloodhound, and Otis Campbell, alleged Labrador. And my third dog is

Marigold, a blind coonhound who is 60 pounds.

Currently, as I talk to you,

these three dogs are all curled in my feet and a huddled mass.

A typical day with dogs goes like this.

You wake up, you feed your dogs. Then you let them all outside to go pee.

Then you let them back inside. Then outside again. Then inside. Outside, inside, outside, inside.

After which you will finally attempt to go about your day. You will get maybe three minutes into your

...